Edit:Problem is solved, but feel free to reply with any opinions.***
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On christmas I told my mom that I wasn't going to pray when it was time for dinner. She respectfully said "That's fine", and went on with her day. When it was time to eat she made everyone hold hands, I said "I'm not praying" she said "You don't have to, but hold hands". I refused and everyone at the table started to glare at me, then start yelling at me till I caved in.
I know it's not technically praying if I hold hands, but it still feels like I'm partaking in an activity that I don't want to be apart of. I don't have a problem with them praying, let them do what they want, but don't make me do join you. And I know this is going to sound completely trivial to a lot of people, but it's still the fucking concept. I mean christians wouldn't hold hands with Muslims to pray, so why should they expect me to do the same? I know my sister just goes along with it (She's an atheist as well), and some of you might. But for what reasons should I HAVE to?
When I approached my mother afterwards I merely said "Why did you make me do that, why did you make me pray?". She got hostile towards me, even though my tone was normal. She responded with "You weren't praying, and if you don't want to take part in this family then you can go sit in the corner". I just stopped talking about it after that, I feel like I've just been pressured into something that makes me feel uncomfortable (even if it is a very small issue).
So should I show resistance and go sit in a corner next time this happens, or should I follow the way of the sheep?
Tags: christmas, dinner, family, forced, mom, pray, pressured, problems, to
Permalink Reply by MightyMateo on January 10, 2011 at 5:06pm You seem very angry but nothing I said was geared towards you at all. You do what you think is right for YOU. As I said, I hold hands with my family, that I love, but I do not bow my head or pray.
A lot of people do follow the Atheist movement for the reasons I stated above but I don't recall siting your name specifically. I was simply voicing my opinion on the topic, not attacking you.
Permalink Reply by John Slanston on January 10, 2011 at 5:19pm No, I'm not angry and I didn't respond because I felt you were attacking me, obviously. Why would I? it has nothing to do with me.
You are the one who said that your grandparents would have a heart attack if someone wouldn't hold hands at the dinner table.
OK, maybe I was also a dick for bringing it up, but anybody who behaves like that sounds like a dick to me! Don't take it personally, I don't even know you. It's not your fault that your grandparents act like dicks. They may be lovely people, but they need to grow up, in my humble opinion.
Permalink Reply by MightyMateo on January 10, 2011 at 5:50pm That's not an apology in the slightest and I'm not going to argue with you John.
Weather I knew you or not I would never insult your family, that's rude.
"OK, maybe I was also a dick for bringing it up, but anybody who behaves like that sounds like a dick to me!" I had to point this out though, the absurdity of that statement is breathtaking. Lol, Please stop insulting my family.
Permalink Reply by John Slanston on January 10, 2011 at 6:27pm You are right, I was out of order. I shouldn't have used that word. I'm sorry I offended you and your family.
I get carried away sometimes...
Sorry. Seriously.
;(
Permalink Reply by MightyMateo on January 10, 2011 at 5:08pm
Permalink Reply by John Slanston on January 10, 2011 at 5:47pm OK, fair enough.
I guess I went over the top.
It wasn't meant as a personal insult, but I understand how it could be taken as such.
Please accept my apologies, Mateo.
I shall be more respectful in the future.
Permalink Reply by MightyMateo on January 10, 2011 at 6:25pm
Permalink Reply by John Slanston on January 10, 2011 at 6:40pm Thanks Mateo.
Especially as I'm sure I agree with you on 99.99% of subjects!I was just arguing with somebody on YouTube that wants to bomb Gaza back to the stone age. That's no excuse, but I was in a bad mood and I guess I took it out on you.
Thanks again. I feel like crap about it!
I'm the one feeling like (dare I say it) a real dick right about now!
Permalink Reply by John Slanston on January 11, 2011 at 7:03am Last night (almost certainly as a reaction to last night's fiasco) I dreamed I was with about a dozen religious people. I think they were mormons.
I held hands and prayed with them!! Well, I didn't actually pray, I held hands and went through the motions, etc... and it wasn't that bad! They knew I was an atheist. Afterwards they took me into some sort of surgery where the mother was going to give birth - and everybody was invited!! I stood there quietly and respectfully thinking it was strange, but honoured that they had invited me. I won't bore you with all the deatils but other weird stuff like that happened.
It made me think about a couple of friends' funerals I refused to attend when I was young... After all, they were dead... what difference did it make? When I got older I realized that the funeral wasn't so much for them as for the living left behind.
So... I have changed my mind, believe it or not!
I think that if you love them, it may be best to politely let them know your feelings, but just "play along". I don't know if this feeling will last, or if I will revert to my conflictive ways, but I feel I've learned something!
Permalink Reply by Dustin on January 11, 2011 at 8:55am You feelin ok , John?
Or do you believe that dreams = signs? : P
Permalink Reply by John Slanston on January 11, 2011 at 9:09am haha!
I know... It's crazy!
No, I certainly don't believe that dreams are signs and think that (most) dream interpretations are absolute nonsense - apart from obvious, and sometimes not so obvious associations with waking expreiences.
However, I did go to bed feeling bad about what I had said and I certainly had a guilty conscience.
So maybe it was my subconscious telling me to calm down a bit, or something!
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