Since my discussion on monogamy, I have realized that most of you think that cheating is wrong and monogamy is the only way to go (unless, of course, you have an agreement with your partner to be open).
I would define cheating as sexual stimulation, whether it be oral or just plain out intercourse, by someone other than your partner. Some say that watching pornography is cheating. I guess I can understand that, in some cases, porn could cause a partner to fantasize more about the women/men in the videos and find themselves less attracted to their partner.
My question to all of you is:
What do you define as cheating? And, more importantly, Is pornography cheating (especially if the spouse doesn't approve of it)?
If it's an open relationship, I don't think you'd necessarily have to clear a specific encounter beforehand with your partner, though he/she might well expect to hear about it afterwards as part of the ground rules. ("Honey, I banged the cute server at the restaurant at lunch today, sorry didn't have time to call..." "Did you have fun dear?")
Does it matter what the ground rules are, when you know that you are breaking them, then you are cheating, it isn't complicated.
I read your conditional backwards, thinking you were saying it would be cheating if you didn't both tell them beforehand and get their approval, you meant they had to have done at least one or the other for it not to be cheating. My bad.
[To put it symbolically, you actually said if Not A and Not B->cheating (meaning that if A or B is true it's not cheating,since it's equivalent to not(A or B) ); I misread it as Not (A and B)->cheating. that if only A or B but not both is true it's still cheating.]
XOR is a bitch sometimes.
Everyone in a relationship knows when they are cheating...unless you are with a psyco and the ground rules keep changing...in that case you're fucked.
"slimy certainty" - an interestingly coined phrase, Strega - I may find a use for that.
Such a short time on the board, UnOne, and already Angela seems to know you all too well.
cheating defined in my view is when you fail to think of partners feelings. I think as long as you talk openly what bothers and why it bothers and it is ignored then its cheating because you are aware it hurts your partner. Otherwise if the partner isn't hurt by action then it isn't cheating. The catch is though both have to be honest and open about what they want and expect from other person.
And, of course, that wanting something doesn't add up to being entitled to what you want.
Dirty Sanchez-super cheater
I define cheating as anything that goes against the "relationship contract." For example, if your partner makes it clear that they believe simply looking at another woman ie porn is cheating and you agree to that then either a.) you agreed because you wanted to have sex with her and you plan on dumping her after you are satisfied with her. or b.) you genuinely are promising her that you will no longer watch porn. Suppose a. is true then there is no need to worry because even if she finds out you were "cheating" on her then there is nothing to worry about because you didn't plan on it lasting for too long anyways. If b, however is true and you end up looking at porn for whatever reason and she finds out then technically you are cheating on her because she made it clear that she believes it is cheating. With that said I would point out that if a girl is so worried about you actually having sex with another girl that she has to ban pornography so you do not even think about it then either I am going to go with option a above or I am going to cut it off right there. Most likely cut it off because I do not think it is right to do option a to a girl.