Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by TDM on April 10, 2011 at 7:58pm

i apologise for all the misspelling,i was caught up in a moment and failed to look up some words and just guessed.

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Permalink Reply by LovelyGirl on April 10, 2011 at 9:14pm

I don't think porn is cheating. I think cheating as you described it above is cheating.

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Permalink Reply by Gaetano on April 11, 2011 at 1:07am

Porn is most definitely not cheating.  I think the urges of a male and female are different; a male can't help being aroused by another female if he's in another relationship, and it's a little harder for a male to resist masturbation than a female.  I think we can all agree on that. 

 

Pornography is very much a stimulant of sorts, a way to release tension, relax and pleasure yourself when alone.  Just because a man masturbates to porn doesn't mean he has lost interest in his partner.  It also doesn't mean he is more likely to see other women.  What if the partner goes away for the weekend and the male is playful?  I think most men here can agree that it's a little hard to resist the temptation of porn when you're alone and in the mood.  And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, as most relationship councilors would tell you.

 

The different between porn and actually cheating is that porn is not interactive at all; you don't engage with the performers, but instead pleasure yourself based on their own actions.  Cheating is the action of getting directly intimate with someone on an emotional and personal level.  If you're having sex with someone you're attracted to them, and attraction is driven by emotion.  Porn is driven by a sexual urge that cannot be fulfilled at any time.  My girlfriend and I live 40 minutes away from one another and our schedules sometimes make it difficult to each other on any given night.  I don't feel guilty for looking at porn (guilty as charged!) and she doesn't care.  As long as I'm not getting emotionally or physically involved with another woman, she has nothing to fear.  And she has said that.  It doesn't bother her in the slightest.

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Permalink Reply by Cloudy on April 11, 2011 at 1:25am

Cheatings when you don't want your partner knowing about a relationship or interaction that you are having, or have had, with another person. Plain and simple.

Porns got nothing to do with anything, porn is porn. It's like marijuana, porn is a therapeutic physical/psychological stimulant that is harmful to nobody but to the belief of those, that are under the delusion that it is harmful, to themselves and to others regardless of who is involved in its use.

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Permalink Reply by Richmond on April 11, 2011 at 4:25pm

I wonder how serious am I to take this post?  I don't see the point.

 

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Permalink Reply by Darrell Mont on April 12, 2011 at 12:09pm

Pornography provides an outlet to prevent cheating. If I am sitting at home alone and "in the mood" my wife would much rather me surf for porn than go to a strip club or go visit someone for an outlet. It is DEFINITELY safer all the way  around and it is more satisfying. How? you ask... well, the person in the porn pic or vid is a fantasy person. They are the resident of your mind and can be or do anything you want. If I have a particular fantasy that I want to indulge, fantasizing about it and experiencing self-gratification create the exact same physiological response as actually doing it. The truth is, actually acting can lead to disappointment, unrealistic expectations, etc. You see a hot girl in a bar, imagine how amazing it would be, work your magic and take her home. The next 45 minutes is a long diatribe of "I don't like that... you're on my hair... not on a first date... etc."

Porn solves these problems, gives the same endorphin rush, keeps you safely at home, and when the wife does get home, she gets the benefit of your hard work... win-win. 

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Permalink Reply by Peter on April 18, 2011 at 3:19am

definitely safer?
This is assuming you are wise while porn surfing because there are many viruses that people get from such things :P

I ultimately agree with you though haha.

Also, if you aren't paying for porn sites, staying at home saves you money! Financial benefits! Hurray Internets!

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Permalink Reply by Misty: Baytheist Living! on April 12, 2011 at 8:57pm

YO!
Ok. I've been in open relationships. I've been in poly relationships.
I'm now in a traditional(ish) relationship. A forever one.
Porn keeps our marriage alive. Seriously. I freaking love porn. I even love bad porn. Like, bad-porn doesn't get me off, but don't you just KNOW you've found a real gem when all the sudden, in the middle of what's a pretty vanilla scene, suddenly some bald chick with so many piercings she looks like she's played goalie for a dart team comes out of nowhere and starts beating the couple with electric cords. The reaction of 'HOLY SHIT. Someone made this! Someone's all hot and bothered over this!' is so hilarious, they are fun in a totally different way, too.
I'm pretty sure porn for us is a couple's activity. I mean, I've no doubt he has his own stash, just as I have mine, but it's not like they are hidden, and any time either of us have that we can spare for solo-time? Ha! If he can sneak a few minutes into his day, I wish him the best!
I don't know. It seems to me like there has to be at least another person involved to call it 'cheating.' Otherwise you are 1) Actually trying to regulate what a person THINKS....and yeah. That's not healthy. 2) I think that 'emotional affairs' are sort of a bullshit excuse. I mean there are a million ways to betray a person's trust. But to me, describing it as 'cheating' is sort of hyperbole if it doesn't involve physical contact. It's like using the word 'racist' or 'holocaust' unjustly. I mean, just because something is really shitty doesn't mean you should relabel it.
Unless of course you're a couple that has defined boundaries and your own understanding. I guess in that case, cheating could be 'Anything I promised I'd never, ever do.'

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Permalink Reply by Shanna on April 12, 2011 at 9:22pm

To me, cheating is when you have a thing for someone else and they have a thing for you and you follow through with that "feeling". If you engage in a relationship that you normally engage in with your partner, well then you have over stepped and cheated.

My partner does not mind that I watch porn or masturbate. Its healthy and keeps me sexually ready and aroused for her. As females we can't always have sex so I do me until we can. It's better than stepping out of the relationship and ruining a solid thing.

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Permalink Reply by Kelsey on April 12, 2011 at 10:05pm

no it is not cheating, everyone needs a release and it just simulates a feeling its not like your having sex with the person

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Permalink Reply by Cherise on April 13, 2011 at 8:54pm

I wouldn't consider anything that is really just thought as cheating. Porn is fantasy and is therefore only thought. If you masturbate to porn, it's still just fantasy.

 

If you are in a relationship, and you want to control your partner's thoughts, I think you're in for a bad time of it. I would also suggest that you have some deepseated issues around your self worht and should seek to remedy that. Most of us do have to work on that, btw, I'm not trying to single anyone out,

 

BTW, I don't mean YOU OP, I realise that you aren't anti-porn.

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Permalink Reply by Austin Fisher on April 13, 2011 at 11:17pm

I define it as physical contact. I can see how pornography would make someone jealous, but it's hardly cheating.

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