Pornography
Since my discussion on monogamy, I have realized that most of you think that cheating is wrong and monogamy is the only way to go (unless, of course, you have an agreement with your partner to be open).
I would define cheating as sexual stimulation, whether it be oral or just plain out intercourse, by someone other than your partner. Some say that watching pornography is cheating. I guess I can understand that, in some cases, porn could cause a partner to fantasize more about the women/men in the videos and find themselves less attracted to their partner.
My question to all of you is:
What do you define as cheating? And, more importantly, Is pornography cheating (especially if the spouse doesn't approve of it)?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Lindsey on -
I didn't take long marriages into account when I replied, I was thinking more along the lines of a younger relationship in which one partner watching porn hurts the other one's feelings and then the first partner deciding that that is a deal breaker without any discussion. I guess its just my bias from dating some incredibly careless and self-centered people leaking through. I see your point though, its not fair to stay in a relationship if all the chemistry and pleasure is gone and your spouse isn't willing to compromise.
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Permalink Reply by Michael on -
I won't walk outside in a thunderstorm, if I posted that and I would never fly to my destination, I would crawl on all fours. But than again it's from the Sistine Chapel and the Vatican, the seat of Christian Paganism, so have at that image then.
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Permalink Reply by Gaytor on -
I have two intercontinental flights planned this year. We'll see how it plays out! I'll be sure to let my sister know where the dog is staying.
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Permalink Reply by Lindsey on
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I have a theory that since christians are so sexually repressed, they lash out at everyone else who doesn't try to suppress their natural and healthy urges because they are subconciously jealous. Why else would they devote so much of their time to other people's sex lives?
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Permalink Reply by Loop Johnny on -
I don't think that we can even talk about cheating when we have invented the game ourselves. The whole complexity relationships get is just too convoluted when in fact they should have been kept simple.
Pornography rule of thumb: Don't overdo it.
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Permalink Reply by Ava Wilson on -
Pornography is useful to help curb or eliminate cheating. Women who are overbearing and don't let their husbands enjoy visuals of other women are stifling their instinct to procreate with as many women as possible. As a result, men will go out and cheat to get that stimulation they crave. If you allow a certain amount of sexual openness in the relationship, then he doesn't need to look at real women to stay happy in a monogamous relationship, let alone touch them.
Cheating has a lot of background to it. Some people cheat because, the way that love works is complicated. There's being in love, which is insignificant-- it's the rush you get when you're first with someone, the hormones that sparkle and flare and give you ignited passion. But when that dies out, what is left? St. Augustine said that what remains is love-- when your roots are so entangled you cannot imagine separating them. But to be happy in that sort of relationship, men frequently need something to keep the fire going that's new, exciting, even if it's not real.
All men get that fix somehow, some more tame than others. I wasn't lucky enough to deal with a tame one, but some men are satisfied if their woman just drastically changes once in a while. Like, dying your hair black from blond and chopping it short and putting on different types of clothing that may not be exactly your first choice but still look nice (or for the woman who doesn't want to do that, wigs and makeup!). I know other guys that will cheat even if they love their spouse dearly because they crave that physical fire that you get in the first three months of being in love that dies out after a while because it releases hormones that are addicting.
But porno itself is not cheating. It's been around for a long time and will always be around, technology is just making it more readily available. Back before there was real 'pornography', they only had brothels and prostitutes. At least that isn't a guy's only option now.
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Permalink Reply by Michael on
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Cheating has no reality in a Chimpanzee eat Chimpanzee world of Darwin, Dawkins and Hawkins.
the see, speak, hear no evil monkeys.
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Permalink Reply by Gold Guy on -
Are you joking, or just don't know evolution theory? I smell a troll, and not a very intelligent one at that.
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Permalink Reply by Ava Wilson on
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Or they're just batshit insane, Gold Guy.
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