Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Mat Waldie on February 6, 2013 at 4:42pm

I wil be contrary to some of this research, it all depends on the moral construct of those involved in the act or production of the material. There are damaged lives acting out of triggers and unrealized or even realized phsycological trauma or illness in every walk of life. I do not believe everyone has the need for the same physical emotional boundaries as we assume every uses to construct their lives. I think the idea that these people are being used is impossible not to bring up, but I also do not believe that is the case all the time. Saying that, I do understand those who are against this, like they are against any exploitation, but that assumes their is no redeeming value in depiction of sexual activity. If they are being exploited, doing things without their consent (forced or otherwise). These would be criminal actions. Is it possible that some moral views might be triggering your judgement on pornography? I agree it feels very exploitive or certain kinds feel that way but I am not sure if it is our own model of behaviors that make us feel that way.  

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Permalink Reply by Heather Spoonheim on February 6, 2013 at 6:43pm

I do not approve of pornography, primarily because I feel that nudity is unnatural.  If we were meant to be nude then we would be born that way!

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Permalink Reply by Unseen on February 6, 2013 at 7:16pm

Good one, Heather!

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Permalink Reply by Unseen on February 6, 2013 at 7:15pm

I was hoping for a discussion of pornography. This one should be renamed "Is It Cheating To Watch Porn When Your Partner Doesn't Want You To?"

I think I'll start a discussion that actually is about porn.

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Permalink Reply by RobertPiano on February 6, 2013 at 9:46pm

Who could forget the classics:

Breakfast On Tiffany, Children Of The Cornhole, Chitty Chitty Gang Bang, Lawrence Of A Labia, Riding Miss Daisy, Sorest Rump, Romancing The Bone, and my favorite Saturday Night Beaver.

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Permalink Reply by Val Wuthrich on February 6, 2013 at 9:51pm

If it is cheating, most all married men cheat at soon point then.

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Permalink Reply by Jake Morrisse on April 6, 2013 at 11:19pm

Cheating: breaking of the agreed sexual trust in a relationship.
Pornography: sexually stimulating audio/visual. Not to be confused with the older usage of product with no useful or artistic value.

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Permalink Reply by Unseen on April 7, 2013 at 9:23am

Pornography: erotica someone doesn't like.

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Permalink Reply by Unseen on April 7, 2013 at 11:06am

Question: If a husband or boyfriend watching porn is cheating, then is a wife or girlfriend reading explicit literature (bodice rippers, 50 Shades of Grey) cheating?

It's long been felt that porn for men is more visual and porn for women is more conceptual, so pictures or movies for men, stories for women.

However, the most recent stats tell us that 40% of porn consumers are female anyway, so the question doesn't need to be limited to whether a male is cheating but can be framed in terms of whether ANYONE with a partner is cheating if the use porn.

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Permalink Reply by matt.clerke on April 7, 2013 at 7:46pm

Question: If a husband or boyfriend watching porn is cheating, then is a wife or girlfriend reading explicit literature (bodice rippers, 50 Shades of Grey) cheating?

Yes. If my wife wanted me to abstain from watching erotica, I would expect her to also abstain from reading it!

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Permalink Reply by Unseen on April 7, 2013 at 11:27am

Like all statistics, answers depend on the questions asked, how responses are interpreted, and potentially the biases of those asking. However, porn use among women (and most studies seem to be referring to pics and videos, not literary porn) give a range of 28%-42% as percentage of porn use among women. 

Girls as young as 12 are now seeking out visual porn and even have a porn star favorite named James Deen, who is cute, of average build, and generally engages in scenes which might be described as "healthy sex," which I take means no roughness or abuse, but may include oral and anal sex as well as other non-coital activities. That may be good in terms of introducing girls early on to varieties of sex which don't make babies and yet may satisfy their partners. (Deen, BTW, does his share of oral, so it isn't one-sided.)

I found it interesting that one website cited statistics showing that porn use was much lower among people (male and female) over 40, saying that perhaps they were just not as interested in sex.

Duh! No! It's a generational thing. People in the 40+ age group (my group, BTW) didn't grow up with porn in their lives as early as 12. I think my intro was when I was about 16, so I was no longer prepubescent. Younger people have porn as part of their daily lives. They can watch it in private, not having to go to a newsstand to take a magazine to the checkout counter. Porn watching isn't controversial to young people.

I think as time goes by, with more and more females having porn as part of their daily lives, the idea that it may be cheating will become a fringe issue relevant mainly to religious people.

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Permalink Reply by Heather Spoonheim on April 7, 2013 at 12:32pm

My experience with consumers of porn (I've called them porn-addicts) has been that they seem to enjoy sex far less than I (or other non-consumers of porn) and are generally not suited to relationships.  If, as you say, the next generation is growing up with porn then I think we might be in for some rather significant social changes.

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