My local library has very few books related to the topic "atheism" but this little gem I did find:  "The Quotable Atheist - Ammunition for Nobelievers, Political Junkies, Gadflies, and Those Generally Hell-Bound" by Jack Huberman.  The book is a collection of humorous and penetrating quotes, each preceded by a biographical blurb. 

 

I'm going to post the funniest, the most inspiring, and the most striking quotes.  ...and of course the best ones for attempting to shut down ranting fundamentalists. 

 

I'll be adding a few here and there...this isn't a book to read cover to cover in one sitting and I'm quite busy aside from that.   

 

Tags: Atheist, Huberman, Jack, Quotable, The, funny, quotes, theist

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1.  "If atheism is a religion, then health is a disease."  -Clark Adams  [2]

 

2.  "Fantastic doctrines (like Christianity or Islam or Marxism) require unanimity of belief.  One dissenter casts doubt on the creed of millions.  Thus the fear and the hate; thus the torture chamber, the iron stake, the gallows, the labor camp, the psychiatric ward."  -Edward Abbey (1927-1989)  [2]

 

3.  "I trust God speaks through me."  -George W. Bush [4]

 

4.  "How do you choose between believe in in Jesus, Bigfoot, leprechauns, witchcraft, Islam, alien abductions, the Tooth Fairy, gold at the end of the rainbow or the myriad other assertions that people have made over the course of human history? [Faith is] like rolling the dice and hoping you have placed your faith in a true proposition....However, if you are still inclined to place faith in an unprovable assertion, I am God, send me money."  -Wayne Adkins (1948-    )  [4]

 

5.  "I want to write of the setting, of the history that preceded [9/11], of...an increasingly parochial culture that celebrates the virtues of ignorance [and] promotes a cult of stupidity...a world in which escapist fantasies or every sort are encouraged from above."  --Trariq Ali  (1943-    )  [6]

 

6.  "In those parts of the world where learning and science have prevailed, miracles have ceased; but in those parts of it as are barbarous and ignorant, miracles are still in vogue."  --Ethan Allen  (1738-1789)  [7]

 


 

 

1.  I love this quote!!!  It's so succinct. 

3.  This is just too beautiful.

4.  Phew...that was a lot to type to get to the punch!

5.  Which culture is this directed at...?

6.  It strikes me that this was said by Revolutionary War hero yet is still apropos today.  As a side note, Ethan Allen stopped his wedding to protest when he was asked 'to pledge to live with his bride "agreeable to the laws of God."'   Imagine the nerve it took in those days, to do such a thing!

@ Kairan - Thank you so much for that one. That says it all when people try to claim that atheism is a religion.  Kairan wrote:  "If atheism is a religion, then health is a disease."  -Clark Adams  [2]

I know, isn't it perfect!  I'm looking forward to finding more zingers.
7. "There's no way to prove that there is no God. You just have to take it on faith."  -Woody Allen (born Allen Stewart Konigsberg, 1935-    )  [9]

 

8. "I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear."  -Woody Allen (born Allen Stewart Konigsberg, 1935-    )  [9]

 

9. "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work ... I want to achieve immortality by not dying."  -Woody Allen (born Allen Stewart Konigsberg, 1935-    )  [9]

 

10. "Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned."  -Anonymous  [11]

 

11."Morality is doing what is right no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told no matter what is right."  -Anonymous  [11]

 

12. "Education and religion are two things not regulated by supply and demand. The less of either the people have, the less they want."  -Anonymous in the Charlotte Observer, 1897  [11]

 

13. "The mind of the fundamentalist is like the pupil of the eye: the more light you pour on it, the more it will contract."  -Anonymous  [11]

 

14. "Christian Fundamentalism: The doctrine that there is an absolutely powerful, infinitely knowledgeable, universe spanning entity that is deeply and personally concerned about my sex life."  -Anonymous  [11]

 

15. "Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day. Give him a religion and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish."  -Anonymous  [12]

 

16. "Why be born again, when you can just grow up?"  -Anonymous  [12]

 

17. "Christian: 'I'll pray for you.' Atheist: 'Then I'll think for both of us.'"  -Anonymous  [12]

 

18. Nineteenth-century Orthodox Jews' reproach to Enlightenment and Reform Jews: "The Torah teaches, 'Hear, O Israel' not Think, O Israel.'  [12]

 

19. "Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. God is all-powerful."  -Anonymous  [12]

 

20. "If forgiveness is divine, why is there a hell?"  -Anonymous  [12]

 

21. "If you see a blind man, run up and kick him. Why should you be kinder than God?"—Old Iranian proverb  [12]

 

22. "Nothing that would invent a mosquito is worthy of anything but hate."  -Anonymous  [12]

 

23. "Organized religion is like organized crime; it preys on peoples' weaknesses, generates huge profits for its operators, and is almost impossible to eradicate."  -Anonymous  [12]

So.  I had to return the book.  Got about half way through it though...perhaps I'll paste some more of my favorites when I'm in the mood.

http://product.half.ebay.com/The-Quotable-Atheist-Ammunition-for-No...

this is how i got6 my copy. When I find or think up a new quip I stick it in the blank pages in the back or under the name of the author if he is already in there
"Becoming an atheist was like finding out how a magic trick was done" anon

That's good, except that it's a pretty lame trick, and once you see the strings, you wonder why & are kind of embarrassed that you were ever suckered by it in the first place.

"religion only exists because children believe in magic, and all adults were once kids." - Phil Hellenes

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