An Open Letter to God.
It has come to my attention that your ultimatum does not stand up to thoughtful inquiry. As I would like to get these matters resolved as soon as possible or at least before my death, I have submitted to you a forum of general questions.
Right now the biggest contention I have with your word is the obvious illegal and immoral actions condoned and encouraged. I do not have the time nor intestinal fortitude to stone anyone, be they homosexual, adulterers, thieves or any other manner of living being. In fact, even with the recent discoveries in DNA evidence, I’m still not sure that I can execute this mode of punishment with perfect accuracy. Since one of your commandments is “Thou Shall not Murder” I find this contradictory, besides.
I also have an issue with divorce being considered adultery if a person remarries. (Except in the case of previous adultery) Is there any way we can come to a common agreement? I realize that you are a full supporter of domestic violence, but it seems to be contrary to modern culture and your profession of eternal love. We should also discuss the selling of family members into slavery. It isn’t legal in most countries, and I find myself financially strained with the rising costs of college education.
Next I’d like to talk about bacon. I know it seems rather trivial in the large scheme of things, but I think bacon represents a distinct sadist streak. Why would you put something so delicious, so wonderful on this Earth and then tell us not to eat it? I realize this experiment was already tried with the Tree of Knowledge, but we failed miserably then, too. Please kill all pigs immediately to remove temptation. (Note: I understand that various interpretations of your word allow the eating of bacon, but didn’t your son say that he came here not to negate the old laws, but to fulfill them?)
This is the final and probably most important topic I’d like to discuss with you. We need to come to a consensus on “faith.” Being that your word is the bottom line in the way I should lead my life, dictate how others lead their lives and of course study the world around me, I would deeply appreciate it if you could change the Bible so that it would make a little sense. When it doesn’t make sense, I’m instructed to “have faith” However, since faith is a born trait, I feel that in your negligence, you did not provide me with enough to rationalize these arguments. Being that this is your oversight, I’d like my faith corrected immediately, or please clear up all contradictions so that I may follow you logically. Since you wrote it, I’m sure there is no need for me to make a full list, but here are a few glaring inconsistencies as well as a couple of topics not covered.
1) Which came first; beasts or man? Gen. 1:25-1:26 vs. 2:18-2:19.
2) The genealogy of Jesus (multiple)
3) Are you merciful or are you vengeful (multiple)
4) How did Judas die? Mat. 27:5 vs Acts. 1:18
5) Marriage. The entire book of Corinthians vs. Proverbs.
Further, can you please clarify your take on abortion? Though moon teas and other abortives have been around since before the Bible was published, you made no mention of your preference. Since it is your usual mode to take it upon yourself to dictate approval from everything to beard growing to blood drinking, I can only assume that you are being quite proper and leaving women’s internals to her discretion. However, most of your followers have taken to speaking FOR you, and that is quite unacceptable. Please provide further instruction.
Also, though I see no reference from either yourself or your son as to the status of women serving in the clergy, can you make a resounding statement one way or the other? I don’t have any intentions of taking up the cloth, but I do have a decided interest in the matter, at least from a woman’s rights prospective.
Until above questions are settled, I feel that I cannot follow you with any loyalty. While I wish you well in all your endeavors, I warn you now that if by some chance these doctrines aren’t a bastardization of your will, then I will have to choose the alternative when it comes to the end of my life. Please don’t feel that this is a personal matter, it is simply that I must stand by my morals. Slavery, oppression, murder, racism, bigotry and abuse go against what is right in my heart. Call it faith; but if you are the omnipotent deity that you claim to be, surely your eternal love will find room to forgive my subversive nature. After all, you were the one that created me this way.