Iranian and an Arab generals walk into a tea bar. The Iranian is bragging about the prowess of the Iranian solder. The Arab says, "Your soldier may be good, but I have a Bedouin."

Raw puns'll let your hair down.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

Tags: puns

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar... and doesn't.

You don't pussyfoot around, do you?

Paws?  me?

I got nothin'.  I'm practically catatonic.

Ok, where's the escape claws?

Did you type "claws" on porpoise, or just for the halibut? OK I'll stop, I am giving myself a haddock.

One oxygen atom says to another, "Holy crap, I just lost an electron!!"  "Are you sure?"  "I'm positive!"

People who believe in Noah's flood are delugional.

An old man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender notices the guy's head is the size of a cue ball.

"I got to ask, sir," says the bartender. "What happened?"

The old guy sighs and tells him, "My ship was torpedoed by the Germans in WWII. A mermaid rescued me and promised to grant me three wishes. For my first wish, I asked to return to the States. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. Finally, my third wish was to have sex with the mermaid."

"That doesn't sound too bad," says the bartender. "Then what happened?"

"Well," sighs the man, "mermaids can't have sex, so I asked her if I could just have a little head... ."

I got a job at a frozen orange juice factory, but quit when I couldn't concentrate.

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