I've been an atheist since my pre teens, and feel more comforted by my way of life every day, but today I am having a hard time. I have been out of work for a year now, and while my wife makes good money, we have a mind boggling amount of credit card/loan debt, and it's very quickly getting the best of us. So much so that we are seriously considering bankruptcy, and find that very scary. I've been applying for jobs for a long time, and today I pounded the pavement all day without a glimmer of hope.
I have a Christian radio station on one of my car stereo settings, that I listen to for a laugh once in a while, and put it on today. My moment of weakness came when they were talking the usual 'God-is-listening-and-has-a-plan-and-ask-for-help' mumbo jumbo, and I almost asked for assistance. I didn't of course, but I got a good understanding of why people talk to God, as pointless as it is. My problem is I am finding myself a little depressed and needing someone to boost my spirit. I am always optimistic, but I think you can be TOO optimistic, and now it's just gotten to the point where I think I'm just wishfully thinking. My wife is there, but I tend to be the supportive one in our relationship, and now it feels like my world is caving in.
I don't remember if I have a point, but I just had to get it off my chest
Thanks for the info, very reassuring. We would be going through a trustee, but I'm assuming they charge as well.
I had a moment of weakness about 1 1/2 years ago. I have been struggling with sleep issues since I was a kid and the older I am the worse it gets. I had been diagnosed with sleep apnea a few years back, but not before having a doctor prescribe me the gambit of sleep meds that worked for a time and proved ineffectual due to my crazy tolerance I build to most drugs (not that I am a druggy or anything.) I was given a cpap machine but I just couldnt get it to work because it is just so damned uncomfortable to sleep with, so I just continued to suffer. Finally it got to the point where I was only getting 1-3 hours of broken sleep a night for around 2-4 weeks at a time and then I would sleep "decently" for a short period of time due to exhaustion, only to revert back. Being on 4 pharmaceuticals a night only made it worse in the mornings. My job and my sport suffered along with my relationship with others.
One of my crew mates at work was a pretty wacky religious type (unlike anything else I had ever seen), but a good and decent man. During one of my periods of insomnia that lasted around 3 weeks (I dont remember exactly how long, things get hazy when I am in those states) I let him talk me into trying to meditate and pray for relief and use my cpap machine. It worked, but I think it was a combination of just the mental calming effect of meditating and the fact I switched my mask from a full face to a nose piece.
Nelson is right. After I got a couple nights sleep with the mask I felt like a complete dweeb for breaking down and....... praying. I felt cheapened, like I lost my integrity. The only consolation I have for my still wounded pride 1 1/2 years later is that I felt like I was going downright crazy from not getting the proper sleep I needed. However, I should have just manned up and gotten that damned mask to work earlier. Science cures, not praying <sigh>
So keep your head up along with your pride. Positive thinking and action gets results.
I have moderate to high sleep apnea as well, and like you hate wearing the gear. I did switch to the nasal mask early on, but have never had it on for more than 3 hours a night, and gave up a while ago. I should really try it again but it's such a pain in the ass. ;)
It does make a huge difference. I always allot 8 hours a night and keep the thing on for that time. Whether I get 8 hours of sleep is a different story. Let me tell you though, life is pretty good when you can breath while you sleep.
Another option is a snore guard. They are a little expensive but insurance should cover it. I have one but I have a little anxiety over going through the adjustment period of getting used to it and slowly adjusting it to the proper form. I am sure that I will have nights of sleeplessness but it may be worth it. After all in the event of a power outage I am SOL with my cpap.
Why do you call it a moment of weakness and not simply, "I had a thought?" Just curious.
Because it felt like I was about to give up and start talking to myself. ;)
Research as much as you can about Scientology! I know it sounds daft but the whole subject is fascinating. You'll soon realize that your power of free thought is a gift that no one can take away from you.
You'll also realize that Tom Cruise is a massive cock!
Why isn't their God already helping? That is the question I always ask myself.
Sorry to hear about your troubles Marc, while my problems are not employment or financial at this time we have plenty in my house. We are offered prayers all the time to deal with the fact that my wife has stage 4 cancer and we started round two of radiation therapy and starting another round of chemo in a couple of weeks. Whenever we are offered prayers from the xians I want to ask them what their God's ransom is? How much groveling and obeisance is required before he deigns to help? Why hasn't he helped already.
Sometimes I wish I could pull faith out of my ass and believe. It would make it easier to deal with this crap. It does sound comforting their promises of help from their God. But if their God is all that they say why isn't he helping already?
I agree with you Mike. My troubles sound petty compared to yours. I've lost my favorite aunt, who was the most religious person I knew, to brain cancer and it was the worst thing to see. God works in mysterious ways my ass.