In my experience, there's narcissistic personalities, and narcissistic personality disorder. They all share one thing in common: it's "all about them". There are spectrums for both.
From what I've learned, narcissism is both genetic and environmental. Someone can have the genes only, which makes them narcissistic, and this goes along with a feeling of insecurity and "fear of missing out". If someone with the genes also has a terrible upbringing where they experience traumatic abuse and loss of control, they are likely to develop the personality disorder too. A personality disorder is "a fixed pattern of behaviour which is harmful to oneself and others". Someone without the genes will just be normal but traumatised, perhaps acting a bit narcissistic but the behaviour isn't fixed.
Try this set of articles, I think they're very good. http://psychologia.co/malignant-narcissism/
I was best friends with someone who turned out to have the full blown personality disorder. I find these traits in common in most narcissistic people:
- glamorous, dazzling company
- wants to be surrounded by "minions"
- has to be number 1
- can't be shown to be wrong
- pointlessly controlling
- dominant, alpha personality
- substance abuse
When things go wrong is when the person is under pressure and having a terrible time - then the nasty side comes out. It's a defense mechanism against feeling uncomfortable.
^^^ I think Simon has the gist of it there.
Very comprehensive answer.
Narcissistic supply: they need to get their egos stoked the whole time.
How doesn't it add up? He's functional, and I wouldn't say it's the malignant narcicism described, but the more general characterristics seem accurate.
I don't strongly disagree with you, and I'll bet you have some useful insight after researching!
(LOL maybe they'll get it right in DSM VI?)
(I'll bet Belle's done the research, and we'll see some of it.)
"people make efforts to help someone but nothing they do is enough. One person wins and everyone else loses."
- you're describing a trait of narcissism, and I'm pretty sure @Belle isn't a narcissist. You waited 10 minutes for an answer; she's probably doing something else more urgent.
People can have narcissistic tendencies without having a full blown personality disorder.