I found out tonight that the two children of one of my best friends are currently being abused by their caregiver. The mother (my friend) is desperate to find a way for them to go to a real daycare but she says she cannot pay for it. The caregiver (her abusive ex-husband's new girlfriend) is not taking good care of them.

My friend is entrenched in religion, and a cult of Amway, (also teaching religion and charging her money for it.) I am sick to my stomach and I feel like I can't eat anything after hearing this news. I cannot stop crying. I've cried more tonight than I have in years. I want so desperately for her to see that there IS a way out!!! She needs to file a report and get them the hell out!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She has to stand up for herself and stand up for her kids! I must remember my own journey.

It took me a long time to realize that I have the power to stop everyone from abusing me. It took a long time to get to the place where I realized that being submissive and passive is bullshit! I am FINALLY able to tell anyone who thinks they have a right to hurt me or my child to go fuck off. I can see the answers.....and yet she is not there. She is already living with another man (who is also showing warning signs of abuse).......

I love these children like they were my own. I cannot just stand back and watch her continue down the wrong path......but I don't know what (if anything) I can do. I am going to be sick.

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Like I said, it's her problem. She's an adult not a "case" you need to fix. You have a duty to the children and to the law to report actual or suspected abuse which you can certainly do anonymously. I'm sure you can make the report 24-7, too, and holidays are stressful, so if more were to happen, this is a very likely time.

I hope you all the luck in the world with this. I also hope your friend sees the need to get on board with you in this fight and your friendship remains intact at the end.

These things are never easy, I have given support to people in similar situations before and I can only hope that the results of your brave effort is positive.  Although this isn't always the case, never doubt that you are making the good call on reporting.

if this turns out to be a longer battle, there are ways to help yourself and the child. record everything the child tells you, the date they tell you and when these things happened. try to gather other evidence if possible, have any bruising or marks autographed by of with at least one parents (have to keep yourself safe) or a doctor whom you will want to show the marks. You could also look into the laws of the use of secretly recorded conversation in the court room. If its legal where you are, a criminal will often try to rub your face in it if they think they have you beat, you may be able to play on this.  That last one is very dependent nerve, law and how comfortable you are doing something like this.

Again, I really hope this works out, of course for the child sake, but also because what you are doing is a very hard thing that many would ignore for their own convenience.

Good Luck!!!


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