My gf doesn't believe atheists should come out. Need help
My gf and I had this pretty spirited debate over dinner two nights ago about my atheism. She seems to be increasingly concerned with me (she's catholic) as our relationship grows. I worry that my atheism will grow between us. Or to say, her problem with my atheism.
She brings up atheism more than me and gets increasingly angry as we discuss, while I stay level-headed. The subject of this discussion was "Why are Atheists so noisy?"
I tried to compare our out campaigns with gay right, black rights, women's right all of those things, which to me are pretty comparable, but she's black and got kind of offended when I compared our trials and tribulations with that of african american struggles. I changed it up and only compared it to homosexualtiy and women's rights.
She then countered that we don't need to come out because we can't change anything, there's too few of us. I told her that we are trying to get a wider following, trying to encourage freethinkers to come out.
She then asked something that kind of hurt, she said "Why do you need to come out? Just live your lives like everyone else and be happy with it. You don't need to be so loud about your atheism and cause problems for yourself."
I was at a loss for words. I wanted to express that it's not fair to need to hide, it's important to live our lives but she honestly doens't see a point to our cause.
I'm wondering what you guys might have said in my shoes, or why you personally think our cause is a noble one? I still believe it is but I am curious about what we are hoping to accomplish. I wish I was much more active in the atheist movement. all I seem to do is retweet and come on this website. How could I get more involved?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Richard Porter on -
admittedly I do live in a pretty relaxed country when it comes to religion, though I do have some experience in what I preach; when I was younger...and dumber, I once got into a long term relationship with a girl who was VERY anti-smoking...I smoke like a chimney and tried to hide it from her for 3 months.
It just ends up turning the relationship quite nasty!
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Permalink Reply by Pembunuh Tuhan on -
You smoke like chimney? LOL. Same as me, Bro :)
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Permalink Reply by Amy L. Cook on -
Yeah, god and theism aside, you cannot base a relationship on a lie of ANY kind. If you pretend to believe in god just to please someone else, you are eventually going to be found out and the whole thing will explode on your face. You will most lilkely lose the relationship because you lied to the other person, not because you don't believe in god.
Not to mention, how can you be in a relationship with a person that you cannot be yourself around? You are only going to be able to pull that off for so long before you can't take it anymore, and you should have more respect for yourself than that!
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Permalink Reply by Pembunuh Tuhan on
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Yeah, I know what you mean. But it's not easy to find atheist people in here :)
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Permalink Reply by Liz LaPoint on -
I have to say, Keath, my advice is to find a new girlfriend! I am married now, to an awesome man who is also not religious in any way, but I remember dating religious guys in the past and it was always a turn-off. Why bother dating someone with views that will only serve to be a great dividing wall between you two? Especially when she suggests you shouldn't even be vocal about what you think? Sounds like she doesn't really accept who you are, and wants to change you.
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