I really feel that monogamy is a concept of whichever religion you were born into, but if you love and respect your partner, should you remain faithful to only them? I think that if you and your partner can agree on an open relationship, or anything of the sort, that is a wonderful thing, but if your partner isn't "down" with sharing, is it wrong to act on your sexual urges that arise outside of the relationship?
EDIT: I was totally misspelling this word lolz! But I also wanna add to this that I see love and sex having nothing to do with eachother. What is your views on the correllation between the two?
I think that I tend to agree with your position. Honesty is important in a relationship and without it, it dies at least partially. I also agree that we do live in the now and manogamy is the norm and I also agree that we do tend to like the stable/safe environments.
I suppose that I was able to discuss my gender nonconforming situation with my partner so I should be able to discuss this topic as well.
I'd agree with that. As long as I NEVER found out and there was absolutely nothing emotional about it, I'd be okay with it.
The only thing is, I'm not sure if you can completely separate emotions from sex. Especially if the extramarital relationship, even if it lacked a strong emotional bond, was more sexually satisfying than the marital one.
I suppose I should have worded that whole post better.
I personally believe that an exclusive relationship works for me. If anyone I was seeing ever cheated on me I'd never want it to happen again, I'd be upset, betrayed, etc., but I'd forgive them.
If my partner and I were okay with the idea of each other seeing different people while maintaining our relationship as a primary focus and having zero emotional involvement with the other person, then I wouldn't want to know if it was going on or not.
The reason I don't think this works for me is because I believe it impossible to separate emotions from physical intimacy and above all, I don't want someone seeing having an "emotional affair" with someone else; I want them to be exclusive.
But just because it works for me doesn't mean others can't make it work. I still think the key point is to be upfront with your partner and discuss the matter honestly, whatever you choose. I think our culture has taken it for granted that we just should be monogamous. Each couple should decide if this is right for them, whether it is an hour long ordeal or a three second "Well of course!" discussion.
That's a lot of shoulds. Evidently this is the way it should be fore Melody. But don't forget: sex and the drive for us to even bother with it is because of our genes. Replication is the means for genetic success. We humans can fabricate whatever meaning to it, but there's no absolute meaning to it. Religions and honest ignorance tend to want there to be an absolute meaning to who we are as men and women and sex itself. But make no mistake. Genes are in charge of your sexual drive and preferences. We as conscious beings are just along for the ride. Have fun with it.
Sexual relationships outside of your marriage/partnership is like saying "I love you, but not enough to commit to you."
Expecting monogamy from someone is like saying "I love you, but not enough to let you live your life"
I find the idea of having multiple sexual partners to be highly unhealthy and highly immoral
What is it that makes you think that?
Two minds create balance, two bodies (more specifically in a natural, heterosexual relationship) create balance
How is a balance between two minds better than a balance between three? surely the three mind balance is far more meaningful, rare, and special since that natural duality is unable to apply. Same argument for all other numbers.
other (selfish and sick) desires
Again, how are they either selfish or sick? Surely they are indeed natural (they occur in nature)