Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Les M on March 24, 2011 at 1:14am

Nicely stated Scott, Sex at Dawn:  The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality by Christopher Ryan and Caclida Jetha.can also be read online for the most part here. http://books.google.com/books?id=a8QSES4pxCMC&printsec=frontcov...

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Permalink Reply by Akshay Bist on April 21, 2011 at 10:10am

I remember watching a documentary or something similar in which it was claimed that monogamy was first introduced because all the sleeping around left the tribe with more kids than they could feed.

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Permalink Reply by William C. Walker on April 21, 2011 at 11:36am

Lol. Well it certainly hasn't worked, as we still seem to have that problem, all over the world

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Permalink Reply by james d on December 9, 2011 at 2:24pm

i have read it and agree, we are not wired for monogamy, it is at best a social construct designed by men to make sure their heir gets his shit when he passes on and was a way to in some way assure the fidelity of the woman, while men 'sowed their seed' anywhere they wanted to...

read the book! it is a very good look at the myth of monogamy in humans...

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Permalink Reply by Kenneth Montville D.D. on March 29, 2011 at 1:24pm

Not true of a few counts. First of all, religion is not monolithic, your claim is like saying all people named Albert created a General Theory of Relativity, when in fact it was just one person named Albert. Though Christianity promotes monogamy (in the face of people like King Solomon), Islam does not. Nor do the indigenous Tibetan Folk Religions including Vajrayana Buddhism (examples of polygamy--polygyny and polyandry respectively) both are practiced extensively in their geographic areas.

 

Second, monogamy does not exist in most other primates. Though the siamang gibbon is absolutely monogamous, our closest relatives gorillas, chimpanzees and bonobos are not. The large groups in which they live makes up for the need of monogamy (like that seen in some species of birds). Older members of the group all contribute to the care of younger members. This is further bolstered by the long childhoods experienced by great apes making communal living more necessary. Some human societies created the social construct of monogamy as a control mechanism but to speak about it in such general and absolute terms is bordering on fallacious.

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Permalink Reply by Kirk Holden on March 29, 2011 at 6:54pm

For 199,999 years we hung out with our cousins and screwed like bonobos. I would like that plan except for the fact that my cousins are mostly homely.

 

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Permalink Reply by Kenneth Montville D.D. on March 29, 2011 at 7:55pm

It is really interesting to compare bonobo social groups with chimpanzee social groups. Chimps solve problems of sex with war and bonobos solve problems of war with sex.

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Permalink Reply by Ron V on December 12, 2011 at 10:16pm

As a strategy in the context of shorter lifespans than we have today.  

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Permalink Reply by Greg Gorey on March 22, 2011 at 10:47pm

I think that couples should decide at the beginning of the relationship, make sure they are both happy with them, then abide by them. Monogomy isn't for everyone, but neither is polygomy.

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Permalink Reply by scLovely on March 22, 2011 at 11:40pm

People don't stay stagnant. As they change, their needs and desires change. It would be hard for someone to make this decision and stick with it for life. That's probably why there is such a high divorce rate. 

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Permalink Reply by Gaytor on March 23, 2011 at 2:40am

Greg is hitting close to what I was thinking. Certainly a change might happen. For any relationship that I was in, that would need to be discussed. Just unilaterally going off on your own, wouldn't work for me. That said, monogamy doesn't start until it's discussed overtly. I never assumed that I was in a monogamous relationship. Get what you can until the emotions start hitting home.

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Permalink Reply by Greg Gorey on March 23, 2011 at 11:35am

exactly. I didn't mean it as some unchangable rules. I meant that partners should discuss these types of things openly and make sure they are both on board. That way, if the relationship may go a way they don't want it to, they can get out of it.

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