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Permalink Reply by Nelson on March 22, 2011 at 10:41pm

religion certainly enforces monogamy. (indeed, one of the theories of the origins of religion and religious transmission is that it exists to codify and sanctify already existing morality).

but evolution is what gives us monogamy. our brain chemistry pair bonds us in order to ensure that the mother and father stick together to ensure the survival of the child. sure, that urge doesn't exist in isolation; there are other urges that push us away from monogamy since evolution would seem to also favor a strategy of running around having as many children as possible. but it seems monogamy has largely won out as a strategy.

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Permalink Reply by Scott H on March 22, 2011 at 11:54pm

Actually, that's not the case.  All anthropologic and anatomical evidence points to our human ancestors as having evolved with both sexes having multiple sexual partners throughout adult life, similar to chimps and bonobos today.  Our current "monogamy" is also a culturally imposed illusion, as extra-marital or extra-relationship sexual encounters are extremely common among both sexes in every culture on the planet today.  In other words, we like pretending to be monogamous, but we're actually not.

 

For an excellent review of this topic, I highly recommend Sex at Dawn:  The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality by Christopher Ryan and Caclida Jetha.

 http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0061707805/ref=s9_simh_gw_p14_d18_...

 

 

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Permalink Reply by Nelson on March 23, 2011 at 12:20am

interesting stuff. thanks for the link

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Permalink Reply by scLovely on March 23, 2011 at 12:27am

That brings up an interesting point :) Do you all think it is ok to pretend that we are monogomous and actually not be (especially if you are pretending to your spouse that doesn't approve of it)?

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Permalink Reply by Mr. Anderson on March 23, 2011 at 11:26am

How is it ok? You're still cheating and lying to your partner. Not much of a relationship if it's based on a lie and you've no respect for the person.

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Permalink Reply by scLovely on March 23, 2011 at 6:54pm

I'm not saying it is or it isn't. If it is a natural thing to have more than one partner and the urges are only supressed due to religious reasons (or if religion is why we have monogamy/marriage), how is it wrong to act on urges that are basic human instincts?

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Permalink Reply by Reggie on March 23, 2011 at 11:22pm

I would wager that monogamy in some form or another would manifest as a result of the natural economy of sex within a social group.  Maybe not in all species, but in some.  I'm not well versed on the subject, but I'd further wager (a small sum) that this was the case for homo sapiens long before religion came about.  Lifelong monogamy may not be a common occurance in the animal kingdom, but lifelong monogamy is not the only type of monogamy.  Penguins, for example, are seasonally monogomous, staying faithful to their partner for that mating season.  In their case, it is essential for both parents to be dedicated to rearing their offspring. 

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Permalink Reply by Arcus on March 29, 2011 at 12:36pm

@Reggie: When Macaques were introduced to the concept of currency, they almost immediately went on to inventing prostitution :)

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Permalink Reply by Mr. Anderson on March 24, 2011 at 9:31am

Because you put the constraint of pretence on it. If you're in an agreed monogamous relationship, cheat, and then pretend to be monogamous then it's wrong.

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Permalink Reply by james d on December 9, 2011 at 2:25pm

agreed!

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Permalink Reply by Kelley Schaperjahn on December 9, 2011 at 9:53pm

I feel I should note that the bigger issue in this situation is the dishonesty, not inherently the monogamy. It's wrong to violate a relationship's agreements and expectations (but not, in my opinion, necessarily unforgivable--people are mammals, after all); it's not inherently wrong to crave sexual diversity.

(This coming from a person in a non-monogamous relationship.) :)

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Permalink Reply by Wynprks on December 9, 2011 at 10:54pm

True, we are mammals, but with evolution came intelligent responsibility.  Is it possible that the advent of venereal disease is the major impetus for monogamous relationships?  Even with modern preventative measures STD levels are increasing daily, even if the Pope approved the use of condoms there are several STD’s that can be transmitted outside of sexual intercourse. In that sense monogamy is the surest way to maintain a healthy society.  In our youth do we crave sexual diversity or are we searching for something more, such as acceptance or approval or the sense of family without having parents in the mix, or could it be peer envy? Are you just trying to keep up with what everyone else is doing?  Now that I look back I've found that sexual diversity was more of a chore than anything else, to deal with one person is hard enough much less several people at the same time.  Like they say, when you sleep with someone, your sleeping with everyone that person has slept with, that's more than enough people at one time for me.

 

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