"Mommy... what's God?"

I intend to have children, even though I don't have any yet. I live in the US... so it will be impossible not to have my children exposed by outside sources to Christianity.

 

As much as I want to protect them from this evil institution... I know I have to in some way prepare them for it. I have read of some horrible stories from atheist parents.

 

One parent said that she had to file a restraining order against an evangelical neighbor who pulled her children aside and told them to "run away" because their home "was evil."

 

Another reported that her 7 year old little boy came home from school sobbing after a bunch of his classmates backed him into a corner and demanded that he believe in Jesus while the teacher did nothing.

 

It goes on and on.

 

I REFUSE to expose my children to the holy porn that is the bible before they are at least 12. I can't justify showing them the horrors in that book when they have made ME as a 22 year old adult shiver and have to put the book down after an hour or less sometimes wanting a drink more badly than ever. I am a horror fanatic... but the bible is sometimes too much for even me. HOW can I expose my child to that before they are ready to handle it?!

 

Furthermore... what should I say when the inevitable question comes... "What's God, Mommy?"

There are a couple of difficulties with this...

1. God is a concept that is difficult to define even with adults

2. The Christian God is an evil tyrant that I don't know how to explain to a child without scaring him/her

3. How do I teach the child not to say things about the non-existence of god when they could get into serious trouble for doing so.

 

 

Furthermore... I don't know if I'm ready to handle the persecution my child will probably recieve as a non-christian child in this society.

 

I have worried about this for a while.

 

What age do you think I should expose my child to religion? And how should I go about doing it? When are they ready to be exposed to the bible?

 

You guys don't have to answer all of these questions... but some help and reassurance is much obliged.

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Permalink Reply by Jared on November 21, 2011 at 12:15pm

The fact that the kids are saying they were praying for her stuck out for me too. I'm pretty sure that its being discussed with the kids that she isn't going to church with the intent to guilt you into going or to damage your future relationship if you don't fall for the guilt trip.

Permalink Reply by Lisa on March 13, 2011 at 10:01pm
If you teach your kids to think critically, they will figure it out all on their own.  I taught my kids to think critically about everything but god. Being catholic,  I sent them to church and RE but in all other aspects of life, I taught them to think critically.  Well,they became atheists before I did and because we always had open dialogue,  weren't afraid to share their disbelief with me.  My oldest started having doubts in middle school.  I neither encouraged nor discouraged her, but I did make her finish her R.E.  until her confirmation and then didn't make her go anymore.   Eventually,  I jumped on the band wagon.  My daughter says she decided there was no god  when she learned there was no santa or easter bunny.   It was just the logical  next step to take.  Still she didn't come out with it until college because of the social stigma.  Hopefully that is one thing that will decrease in years to come.
Permalink Reply by Dale Headley on March 13, 2011 at 10:29pm
I wouldn't even bring up the subject of religion unless my child asked.  Then I would simply tell him/her the truth: it is a holy load of crap!
Permalink Reply by Dale Headley on March 13, 2011 at 10:30pm
Sure, God is omnipotent. He is also omniscient; He is not, however, the slightest bit benevolent.
Permalink Reply by bill owen on March 14, 2011 at 4:21am

Don't FORCE your kid to share your beliefs. Let them decide. I know a few people who are christians and they want nothing to do with their parents because all they ever did was try and persuade them that there is no God. On the other hand, I know plenty of christians who have great relationships with their atheist parents. Which do you want?

Permalink Reply by CJoe on March 14, 2011 at 11:36am

I have to ask this though. Do you force your kid not to believe in Santa? In that context, there really isn't a choice. The fact is, there's no such thing as Santa... and it would be unhealthy to allow your kid to carry the delusion into adulthood. There's absolutely no difference. But parents who tell their kids Santa isn't real aren't "forcing" a lack of belief in Santa on their kids; they're being honest.

I just think the more education a parent delivers to their kid, the better. I would treat the topic of Christianity like I would the topic of Greek mythology, or any other ancient religion people collectively accept as myth. I think it's best to tell kids all about Christianity! I'd also tell my kids about the Norse gods, the Druids, the Mayans... but allowing them to "choose" between those ancient religions seems absurd. Sacrificing our babies to the Sun God is out of the question. It's interesting history, nothing more... and it shouldn't be validated by saying it's a "choice".

Permalink Reply by Doubting Thomas on March 14, 2011 at 7:53am

i am not a parent, at 20 but eventually i will be. here's my two cents in it.

  1. try not to marry a person who thinks god helped them cross the road (make it to work and back safely) or more so the family line is very happy of the thought. you'll already have an enemy you dont want to squash.
  2. kids are easy, if they ask to go to church at say 8 years old because they think it's fun, take them to a catholic church and sleep all the way through it. they'll be so bored they'll never ask you to do it again, i however advice you give them an ipod or something so they dont listen to anything. ENSURE YOU MAKE THEM SIT STILL AND DO NOTHING.
  3. use rhetorics as much as possible;
  • why dont we go to church
    • because the bible doesnt say we should
and as you build anti belief in them, be sure to install criticism in them, if you nudge them to see the idiocy of santa claus and easter bunny then they'll not be so swayed by christianity. the best skeptic is a cynic and you root that in with sarcasm, so as you ease in the topic of god, you then add on the blanks with humor, they'll soon laugh at the thought of a naked guy in the sky not think real hard about it.
Permalink Reply by CJoe on March 14, 2011 at 11:39am
I do like the idea of taking my kid to church so they can have that experience. I just always, always want to be there with them (until they're older). I'd never let them go to youth group with their friends until they were in high school, but by then... they prob wouldn't wanna go anyway. HA! I might even force them to go to certain functions when they're older so they can experience a bit of disgust.
Permalink Reply by CJoe on March 14, 2011 at 11:29am

Personally, I would be very open with my kids about the concept of a god/gods... just like I'll be open with them about other mythological creatures. I find Greek mythology fascinating, and Christian mythology could be just as fascinating if I didn't have such resentment towards the religion. I wouldn't hesitate to discuss the origins of Santa, the Easter Bunny, etc... because even those came from Pagan religions. I don't want my kid to have to ask; I want them to know before they ever encounter other kids with fundie backgrounds. The more knowledge they have, the better able they'll be to either refute or simply dismiss the kids whose parents believe in fairy tales.

Many of the Greek myths are quite violent... lots of incest and rape, murder and torture... you just have to tell them the gist of the stories without going into detail until they're older. I think it's important for children to understand culture, and religion is part of culture. It would be easy enough to explain that, thousands of years ago, people believed in Zeus and Athena, and built temples to honor these gods; they worshiped those mythical beings just like Christians today worship mythical beings... both were ignorant to the fact their gods weren't real. I can just hear the kid going "Ohhhh I get it now!" Adults who believe in gods were never told by their parents that they weren't real, just like the kids who still believe in Santa.

I suggest taking it less seriously. The more nonchalant you are about it, the less your kid will be traumatized by the concepts of religion. You can't be overly protective, or overly sheltering... or they may suspect you're hiding something. The more a parent tries to shield their kid from something, the more that kid wants to find out about it. And you don't want them learning about all this from someone else. It's kinda just like talking about sex. If you're open, honest, and nonchalant, they won't feel such a burning curiosity and will have the knowledge to cope with the issue when it comes up outside the home.

Remember... it's ALWAYS better to be educated than to be sheltered.

Permalink Reply by M on March 14, 2011 at 12:28pm

We definitely do this-- it's a great history lesson.  I also always like to point out that the god(s) differ depending on the people and the region.  It might not make a lot of sense to them yet, but it will hopefully get them thinking later.

 

Mostly, I just want them to make up their own mind.  I want them to think.

Permalink Reply by BryanPaul on March 14, 2011 at 12:07pm
I've seen some good answers on this one. The thing is, as a parent your job isn't to raise a good little atheist. It's to raise a good child. If the kid decides he wants to believe, you should let the kid do so and be happy. We all want our kids to follow in our footsteps but sometimes it's just not that way. Everyone like to complain that parents shouldn't be able to force there beliefs on there children. I think that should apply to our lack of beliefs also. I encouraged my child to go to every church denomination I could find and the ones not here I got her to read about. She really liked Buddhism, lol. I didn't tell her I was atheist. I just waited for the questions to come and answered. They got to be good questions at around 12 yrs. old. Well don't worry comet, as long as you raise them to be smart, kind, and confident they will be good people regardless of religion.
Permalink Reply by M on March 14, 2011 at 12:25pm
My sister is a holy roller, so my kids have questions pertaining to her beliefs.  I tell them (they are seven and five) that she believes there is a magic man in the sky watching them so they behave.  My daughters find this a little hard to fathom, which amuses me.  If they don't even think that's feasible, why do adults?  I try to just encourage their questions, teach them lots about how exciting and awesome science is, and hope for the best.

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