How much of our actions and attitudes are formed from evolution? Piggybacking off of some ideas from another thread I got to thinking about how we "mark our territory." Particularly in relationships.

Example: When a girl is with a guy and another girl comes along and is flirting with him, she will naturally want to let that other girl know "he's mine." This is when a cat fight usually comes about to which most guys are pleased to watch two girls fight over him. (sorry I use girl, it's just how I talk. Substitute woman, lady, whatever you like...)

Similarly: Men will be sometimes protective/possessive of their girls and give other men "the look" if they are checking out their chica. Or they will get mad when they see their girl looking at another guy.

Is jealousy or possessiveness part of our evolution? Or is an unhealthy character trait that stems from insecurity and immaturity alone?

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That makes two of us, because I do not have the jealousy gene either. I have actually disappointed "girls" who expected a jealous reaction from me, didn't get it and then assumed I didn't care much or love them. In fact the whole "dis your partner for a reaction" seems so pointless and can only make me wonder if I want to spend precious time with such a person. I also believe if I am REALLY close with someone and they cheat I will know in a nanosecond. That happened once and I ended it so fast, but exactly- I was mad at myself because I made a bad choice. PS I also never wanted to sire any kids and that in itself presented a relationship issue with several who would change my mind.

Okay, so you and Strega have done what I might call the "Pat me on the head because I'm different and better than most people" kind of post.

Oh, do you think feeling jealousy or not feeling jealousy have an inferior/superior relationship?  I just thought of them as being left-handed/right-handed kinds of difference.

Why would you think there is an element of superiority?  It could be that Robert and I are missing an ability to feel something.  Why are you taking this as a criticism or judgement?  I was just wondering if there was a correlation with the desire to have children.

Jealousy is widely felt to be a an expression of weakness or inferiority. You were unaware of that?

Expressing jealousy might be considered as having a lack of self-control, but how can not experiencing jealousy be taken as related to superiority?  It's not as if I magnificently overcame the urge to feel it.  It just isn't there.  That's not superiority, that's chemistry.

So, isn't having self-control better.

Better than what?  Is it better to overcome a negative urge than not to have the urge in the first place?  How are they comparable?  One is chemistry, the other is a willful act.

Aren't willful acts better than chemistry (assuming the willful act is good, of course)?

Do you mean more commendable?  Of course they are.  Chemistry is pot luck.  If you mean something else, I have no idea what your comparison base is.

Strange. ever since i was 13 or so i have known that i had no desire to have children. And except for my first relationships,when still  a teenager  , i also barely feel any jealousy at all.

Unseen - Forget for one second whether it is natural for us to feel jealousy or not and instead answer if you think jealousy is a predeominantly useful emotion. From my experience  ,and watching those around me, i have found jelousy to cause far more harm than good.

@Rocky John - now isn't that interesting?  Three of the members here had no desire for children, and no feelings of jealousy.

@Belle - you may be on to something here, connecting the two.  I wonder if there are any others...

I live so that you may pat me on the head. Such rare genius, depth and insight !


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