Love is patient, love is kind.........wait a minute!

What is healthy love?

No really. I'm asking.

I'm embarking on a journey to better understand what it means to love and be loved. I used to believe 1 Corinthians 13 was it...is it? I mean it's still a GREAT verse. But I think we can do even better than that.

So....in your OWN words, what does love look like, in a healthy sexual, or romantic relationship, and also on a friendship level. Is it altruistic? Is it selfish? Somewhere in between?

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oxytocin.

Love need say no more

When you know you'll never be abandoned, and you can speak your mind,

You would never leave, because a part of you would be left behind,

You get a feeling of happy glee when you have that person near,

And whisper sweet nothings into their ear,

When you talk in passing conversation, their name always comes up,

Their imperfections do not matter, because the way they are is more than enough.

You sit next to them and want to know more, they look at you and you need to say no more.

This is how I imagine it to be, as a wave of sadness washes over me,

This kind of love is hard to find, and may only come once in a lifetime,

So if you have this kind of love, cherish it, and make it grow, it's the deepest love you'll ever know.

Belle, just give it time and don't worry.  You're a good person and you'll attract the right Top Quality person for you in the end. 

I mean a good, kind, brave, strong, intelligent, mature, unselfish person like yourself. 

I would say you need to spend a very long time getting to know someone to make sure they're not a douche-bag.  I think you need to wait rather than act. 

Am I right? 

@Simon, I no longer need love from a man to sustain myself. I'm not looking for someone to meet my needs. I meet my own needs. I am however wanting to understand exactly how my old way of thinking was skewed. I am wanting to understand what it means to be healthy in all aspects of my life.

Religion tainted it for me. I saw many Christian couples who were SO happy, and I remember being jealous of them. But now I think it's a fisad and a game, more than reality. A person's fulfillment comes from within themselves, and any person who draws near to them becomes complimentary. I am just wanting to understand how LOVE fits in to the picture so that it doesn't become possessive, selfish, and needy for either person.

I do not believe that love is "just chemical," I also don't believe it's "just emotional." But love that is strong and doesn't have to fight to sustain is a mystery to me, because it seems the tendency to revert back to old unhealthy ways never goes away, and so it is a struggle for me to understand how you can "just be" (like the poem I wrote in Spanish "Estar" recently...how can you just be without needing more? I think love should not be burdensome.

I think it's best not to have any expectations of what it should look like, or what form it should take.  Maybe you would like to keep each other at arm's length in order to feel comfortable,  safe and happy. 

I was looking through Lazyboy videos on youtube, and found one that made me think about this discussion.  Its a bit corny so I was going to mail it instead of post it but here it is anyway - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v545reoFtM4

Also check out some other lazyboy stuff if you like this, some of their songs seem to indicate a belief in the supernatural or idealist views, but I think some of their stuff is great.  check out 'facts of life' and  'underwear goes inside the pants' by them, two of the best in my opinion. 

Also on the subject of ideal love, this lady has it:  Midori Lei at http://datingadvicefromagirl.com  , she's the real thing.  She's a conservative Christian, but don't let that put you off.  She's as much a freethinker as any of us. 

True love is a wonderful thing, and I feel very lucky to have it.  I'd prefer it to winning the lottery 1000 times over.  Belle, I feel that you and I share many similarities.  My sweetheart shares those same similarities.  You can see where this is headed.  Have faith.  Be careful. 

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