Hey everyone! I've been on the site for a few weeks now, and have commented a few times, but I never thought to come introduce myself. My name is Jenn, and I hail from Cecil County, Maryland. I've got an 11-year-old and 2-year-old twins, and am happily married to a like minded British guy. I found this site thanks to a friend I've had since the seventh grade who goes by the name of Jewelz. I had been on a steady decline regarding religion for about ten years, having been let down time and time again by teachings, preachers, and the like. Any questions I had were referred to bible verses that really did nothing for me, and I was told to 'pray on it'. So I considered myself agnostic for a long while. In a long conversation with my friend, I realized that I was, in fact, athiest. The knowledge I thirst for is quenched time and time again. I honestly feel like I am more spiritual now than when I could call myself a religious person, and it feels good to get that little tingle in my belly when I learn something new or am forced to think of things in a different way.
So again, I say hello to you all! It's nice to find a board where I'm not afraid of being honest, and where everyone can feel safe and confident to discuss what is most important to them.
I honestly feel like I am more spiritual now than when I could call myself a religious personI don't actually remember ever feeling spiritual when I was religious. Probably because I was only religious when I was young, like between the ages of 5-16 or so. The main thing I remember is fear of burning in Hell and being afraid of demons. I can remember being as old as 12 or 13 and not being able to get to sleep because I was imagining demons swarming around outside. The 1st time I ever had a truly "spiritual" experience came some years after I had stopped seriously thinking about god at all, and had begun contemplating the universe as science presents it: ~15 billion years old, innumerable stars and galaxies and unimaginable distances; add evolution and everything else, and it's just so mind-blowingly incredible. It just seemed to me so much more profoundly beautiful and moving than "god done it."
The last time I was a part of an organized religion was back in 2001-2002, and at the time, I felt that going to church was helping me deal with a lot of things that were going on at the time. I was baptised and actually felt like my soul was brand new, if that makes sense. It wasn't so much fear of hell or anything like that as it was just feeling... I don't know.... enlightened? For lack of a better word. But each time I went to my pastor with questions, I was shot down and pretty much told to just believe what was in the scriptures. I'm a critical thinker, and eventually, the questions I had that didn't have any answers outweighed the pleasure I had gotten by going to church and listening to the word of god.
It's sort of funny. Trying to put the way I felt back then and how it shaped me into the athiest I am today into words is harder than I had imagined it would be. But thank you for sharing your own feelings on it!
I'm glad you took the time to introduce yourself.
I've been an atheist all of my adult life and needed to find others like me.
I posted a blog about a dilemma I was having with NA. The program revolves around god or a higher power.
I received many useful comments and my problem was solved. The people here are awesome and I too love being able to say what I really think.
Hope you like it here as much as I do...
Long Island, NY
Thanks for the reply Robin!
I'm sure I'll be making future posts to ask questions or contribute to others with what I feel about the topics presented here. It's great to find a safe place to ask questions and be treated with respect. I'm looking forward to contributing more myself!