Jokes and Word Play.
One of my favorite social past times is telling jokes, light ribbing, making puns, and engaging in word play.
I heard a pretty good joke the other day, and it never fails to get a chuckle from me when I tell it to someone else.
Ask them if they want to hear a joke. (who doesn't?)
After they accept, tell them to say "Knock Knock."
after they say it, ask "Who's there?"
Most people will be very confused as to how they suddenly became the one telling the joke, and many won't know what joke they're telling. Some of my quicker buddies took it in stride and followed up with an actual knock knock joke. Either way, you win. :D
What are some of your favorites?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Elon Johnson on -
I just read this:
"I entered a pun contest to see if I could win...
No pun in ten did"
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Permalink Reply by RobertPiano on -
Question: Want to know the secret to a good (Answer: TIMING) joke?
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Permalink Reply by archaeopteryx on -
Was that written by the same author as Mysterious Trail In the Sand, Wun Hung Lo?
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Permalink Reply by Strega on -
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Interrupting cow
Interup....
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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Permalink Reply by RobertPiano on
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Q:whaddaya call a cow that just had a calf?
A: a decaffeinated cow
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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Permalink Reply by H3xx on -
Today I got one of my coworkers seriously pissed off at me. I began whistling, "The Chicken Dance" and it became stuck in her head.
*sigh* I miss Looney Toon and Three Stooges style comedy. I'm afraid that Family guy and it's ilk has pretty much ruined the pure joy of the simple, and stupid joke.
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Permalink Reply by Belle Rose on -
God said to Adam, "I've got some good news and some bad news. First the good news. I have given you a brain and a penis. The bad news... I've only given you enough blood to work one of them at a time!"
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Permalink Reply by RobertPiano on
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I went to the doc who says "I've got some bad news and some worse news. First the bad news: you have 24 hours to live." I was like "what could be worse than that, doc?" He says well, we been trying to call you since yesterday !
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Permalink Reply by H3xx on
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A guy goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, you've got to help me. My penis is orange." Doctor pauses to think and asks the guy to drop his pants so he can check. Damned if the guy's penis isn't orange. Doc tells the guy, "This is very strange. Sometimes things like this are caused by a lot of stress in a person's life."
Probing as to the causes of possible stress, the doc asks the guy, "How are things going at work?" The guy responds that he was fired about six weeks ago. The doctor tells him that this must be the cause of the stress. Guy responds, "No. The boss was a real asshole, I had to work 20-30 hours of overtime every week and I had no say in anything that was happening. I found a new job a couple of weeks ago where I can set my own hours, I'm getting paid double what I got on the old job and the boss is a really great guy." So the doc figures this isn't the reason.
He asks the guy, "How's your home life?" The guy says, "Well, I got divorced about eight months ago." The doc figures that this has got to be the reason for all of the guys stress. Guy says, "No. For years, all I listened to was nag, nag, nag. God, am I glad to be rid of that old bitch." So the doc takes a few minutes to think a little longer.
He inquires, "Do you have any hobbies or a social life?" The guy replies, "No, not really. Most nights I sit home, flip on the Playboy channel, grab a bag of Cheetos..."
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Permalink Reply by Ward Cressin on
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That reminds me of the Cheetos commercial that featured a guy who so loved the taste of Cheetos he'd lick the orange dust off another guy's hand. I wonder if the doctor loves Cheetos that much?
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Permalink Reply by Belle Rose on
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A guy is in a bus station, and goes into the men's room to piss. When he walks in he sees a leprechaun with the most enormous dick he had ever seen. As he pees, he cannot avoid spying on the giant member of the tiny man dressed in green. The leprechaun zips up and the man asks him if he is indeed a real leprechaun.
The little man says, "Aye me boy, I'm a leprechaun, and I can grant you three wishes."
"Oh neat," comes the reply, "What do I need to do?"
"Well, havin' such a large cock makes it a bit awkward with the ladies, the thing not fittin' and all... I'll grant you your three wishes if you wouldn't mind suckin' me dick until I come." The man is a bit taken aback, but agrees, because he knows he can wish for anything he wants later. After the green man has come, he starts to walk away.
The guy says, "Hey, what about my three wishes?" The leprechaun asks, "How old are you me boy?"
"25," he says.
"Aren't you a bit too old to still be believin' in leprechauns?"
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