One of my favorite social past times is telling jokes, light ribbing, making puns, and engaging in word play.

I heard a pretty good joke the other day, and it never fails to get a chuckle from me when I tell it to someone else.

Ask them if they want to hear a joke. (who doesn't?)

After they accept, tell them to say "Knock Knock."

after they say it, ask "Who's there?"

Most people will be very confused as to how they suddenly became the one telling the joke, and many won't know what joke they're telling. Some of my quicker buddies took it in stride and followed up with an actual knock knock joke. Either way, you win. :D

What are some of your favorites?

Tags: Jokes, fun, play, puns, word

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Well, I wouldn't be too disappointed. That would have been one of my three wishes. ;)

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.

Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
They've got a new birth control pill for men now. I think that's fair. It makes a lot more sense to take the bullets out of the gun than to wear a bulletproof vest.
It had been raining for days and days, and a terrible flood had come over the land. The waters rose so high that one man was forced to climb onto the roof of his house.

As the waters rose higher and higher, a man in a rowboat appeared, and told him to get in. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the man in the rowboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.

The waters rose higher and higher, and suddenly a speedboat appeared. "Climb in!" shouted a man in the boat. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the man in the speedboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.


The waters continued to rise. A helicopter appeared and over the loudspeaker, the pilot announced he would lower a rope to the man on the roof. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the helicopter went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.

The waters rose higher and higher, and eventually they rose so high that the man on the roof was washed away, and alas, the poor man drowned.

Upon arriving in heaven, the man marched straight over to God. "Heavenly Father," he said, "I had faith in you, I prayed to you to save me, and yet you did nothing. Why?" God gave him a puzzled look, and replied "I sent you two boats and a helicopter, what more did you expect?"
An Irishman walks into a bar, and tells the bartender "I'll have three rounds, all at once." So the bartender gets his order but says to the man "Sir, you'd enjoy them better sir if I served them to you one at a time." The Irishman replies "No, its a tradition. Back in Dublin, my brothers and I would all go to the pub and have a round together. I moved over here a few years ago but I still keep the tradition." Touched by the story, the bartender served the rounds, and went about his business. The Irishman returned for several nights. One night, the Irishman comes in and only orders two rounds. The bartender shaken, asks "what happened? Did one of your brothers die? "The Irishman laughed and replied, "No, I quit drinking!"
OK ok last one, lol....

The only thing wrong with being an atheist is that there's nobody to talk to during an orgasm.

Depends on who you are talking to......video...

Took me a couple of minutes to get that...

A man goes to the doc with burnt cheeks. He tells the doc he was ironing when the phone rang and he put the iron box to his cheek, then he asked what happened to the other cheek, he says, the damn phone rang a second time

How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Californians don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs.

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Right where you left him.

 It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

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