This is extracted from here.

God: Hey kiddo! Welcome back up!
Jesus: …
God: Man, you look great! Long time no see. You want some ice cream? I’ll get us some ice cream.
Jesus: So…crucifixion, huh?
God: Oh…what? Oh man! That’s, uh, terrible! I had no idea. Wow, that sucks!
Jesus: I think you had some idea…
God: Well, I uh-
Jesus: You know, being God and all. Omniscient. Lord of all creation. Feel like you may have heard.
God: Well, maybe a vague inkling, I suppose-
Jesus: It was kind of like a big deal. They made a book about it. The Book.
God: Yeah?
Jesus: Yeah. Best seller. Only seller. Figure it would have gotten back to you. With your son, you know. Only son, dying in awful pain. Thought you'd get a text or two.
God: Okay, so I may have-
Jesus: Did it specifically have to be by crucifixion? Do you know how much that sucks? How about death by hummus. Or you know what else? Death by, literally anything else.
God: Jesus, I said I was sorry.
Jesus: Or you know what else is good? Not death. We could have tried that. Not killing me.
God: Well, yeah, but for man's sins...
Jesus: Yeah, you know what else is a sin? Killing the son of God. So kinda cancels out the my forgiveness thing. Back to square one.
God: C'mon, Jesus. Be cool. Why didn’t you just use your super-powers?
Jesus: …what.
God: You didn’t use your super-powers? I mean, come on. You’re Jesus Christ.
Jesus: I go by J-Christ now, actually, you know, for the band...
God: Will you forget about your stupid band for just one second!?
Jesus: What, like you forgot to pick me up from earth? Three days dad. Three days. That’s a long time be locked in a graveyard cave.
God: Well...
Jesus: You know how I can make a few loaves of bread into more loaves? Doing that with cave-rats is really, really bad.
God: Okay. You know what? You’re right. Tell you what; You’ll return, it'll be better than ever. You’ll be sent down again…in the year 2000!
Jesus: Really?
God: Nah. Look, I’m sorry about that whole thing, I really am. But just remember Jesus: I work in mysterious ways.
Jesus: You have no idea what you’re doing, do you?
God: I prefer to call it ‘improv’.

May I say it?

Views: 18

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Oh someone please draw a cartoon for this! Great script.
We can't. Jesus would be easy to draw, but God... Last time I checked he does not exist.



How do you define God?

Started by Belle Rose in Theistic Arguments and Debate Help. Last reply by Davis Goodman 15 minutes ago. 21 Replies

The Abyss of Online Degree Options

Started by Belle Rose in Advice. Last reply by Pope Beanie 5 hours ago. 2 Replies

My walking partner is a sex offender

Started by Belle Rose in Advice. Last reply by matt.clerke on Sunday. 20 Replies

Too little too late you assholes!!!!!

Started by Belle Rose in Politics. Last reply by Reg The Fronkey Farmer 1 hour ago. 14 Replies

A brave new adventure

Started by Belle Rose in Atheist Parenting. Last reply by TJ on Sunday. 9 Replies

© 2017   Created by umar.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service