This is extracted from here.

God: Hey kiddo! Welcome back up!
Jesus: …
God: Man, you look great! Long time no see. You want some ice cream? I’ll get us some ice cream.
Jesus: So…crucifixion, huh?
God: Oh…what? Oh man! That’s, uh, terrible! I had no idea. Wow, that sucks!
Jesus: I think you had some idea…
God: Well, I uh-
Jesus: You know, being God and all. Omniscient. Lord of all creation. Feel like you may have heard.
God: Well, maybe a vague inkling, I suppose-
Jesus: It was kind of like a big deal. They made a book about it. The Book.
God: Yeah?
Jesus: Yeah. Best seller. Only seller. Figure it would have gotten back to you. With your son, you know. Only son, dying in awful pain. Thought you'd get a text or two.
God: Okay, so I may have-
Jesus: Did it specifically have to be by crucifixion? Do you know how much that sucks? How about death by hummus. Or you know what else? Death by, literally anything else.
God: Jesus, I said I was sorry.
Jesus: Or you know what else is good? Not death. We could have tried that. Not killing me.
God: Well, yeah, but for man's sins...
Jesus: Yeah, you know what else is a sin? Killing the son of God. So kinda cancels out the my forgiveness thing. Back to square one.
God: C'mon, Jesus. Be cool. Why didn’t you just use your super-powers?
Jesus: …what.
God: You didn’t use your super-powers? I mean, come on. You’re Jesus Christ.
Jesus: I go by J-Christ now, actually, you know, for the band...
God: Will you forget about your stupid band for just one second!?
Jesus: What, like you forgot to pick me up from earth? Three days dad. Three days. That’s a long time be locked in a graveyard cave.
God: Well...
Jesus: You know how I can make a few loaves of bread into more loaves? Doing that with cave-rats is really, really bad.
God: Okay. You know what? You’re right. Tell you what; You’ll return, it'll be better than ever. You’ll be sent down again…in the year 2000!
Jesus: Really?
God: Nah. Look, I’m sorry about that whole thing, I really am. But just remember Jesus: I work in mysterious ways.
(pause)
Jesus: You have no idea what you’re doing, do you?
God: I prefer to call it ‘improv’.

May I say it?
LOL!

Tags: collegehumor, funny, god, home, jesus, lol, returns

Views: 11

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Oh someone please draw a cartoon for this! Great script.
We can't. Jesus would be easy to draw, but God... Last time I checked he does not exist.

RSS

Forum

In Defense of ‘Islamophobia’

Started by Brian Daurelle in Society. Last reply by Erock68la 3 hours ago. 201 Replies

Ear-piercing a baby

Started by Simon Mathews in Atheist Parenting. Last reply by Ed 4 hours ago. 1 Reply

Torture Report release today

Started by Unseen in Ethics & Morals. Last reply by Virgil 4 hours ago. 114 Replies

Why do we tolerate this?

Started by Belle Rose in Crime and Punishment. Last reply by Ron Humphrey 5 hours ago. 20 Replies

My Grandpa died last week

Started by Physeter in Small Talk. Last reply by Simon Mathews 9 hours ago. 6 Replies

Blog Posts

Pabst Blue Ribbon to the rescue!

Posted by Ed on December 15, 2014 at 9:33pm 0 Comments

Finally, a cool billboard in Arkansas!

Posted by Ed on December 15, 2014 at 8:21am 2 Comments

Atheist Sites

Services we love!

We are in love with our Amazon

Book Store!

Gadget Nerd? Check out Giz Gad!

Advertise with ThinkAtheist.com

In need a of a professional web site? Check out the good folks at Clear Space Media

© 2014   Created by umar.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service