This is extracted from here.

God: Hey kiddo! Welcome back up!
Jesus: …
God: Man, you look great! Long time no see. You want some ice cream? I’ll get us some ice cream.
Jesus: So…crucifixion, huh?
God: Oh…what? Oh man! That’s, uh, terrible! I had no idea. Wow, that sucks!
Jesus: I think you had some idea…
God: Well, I uh-
Jesus: You know, being God and all. Omniscient. Lord of all creation. Feel like you may have heard.
God: Well, maybe a vague inkling, I suppose-
Jesus: It was kind of like a big deal. They made a book about it. The Book.
God: Yeah?
Jesus: Yeah. Best seller. Only seller. Figure it would have gotten back to you. With your son, you know. Only son, dying in awful pain. Thought you'd get a text or two.
God: Okay, so I may have-
Jesus: Did it specifically have to be by crucifixion? Do you know how much that sucks? How about death by hummus. Or you know what else? Death by, literally anything else.
God: Jesus, I said I was sorry.
Jesus: Or you know what else is good? Not death. We could have tried that. Not killing me.
God: Well, yeah, but for man's sins...
Jesus: Yeah, you know what else is a sin? Killing the son of God. So kinda cancels out the my forgiveness thing. Back to square one.
God: C'mon, Jesus. Be cool. Why didn’t you just use your super-powers?
Jesus: …what.
God: You didn’t use your super-powers? I mean, come on. You’re Jesus Christ.
Jesus: I go by J-Christ now, actually, you know, for the band...
God: Will you forget about your stupid band for just one second!?
Jesus: What, like you forgot to pick me up from earth? Three days dad. Three days. That’s a long time be locked in a graveyard cave.
God: Well...
Jesus: You know how I can make a few loaves of bread into more loaves? Doing that with cave-rats is really, really bad.
God: Okay. You know what? You’re right. Tell you what; You’ll return, it'll be better than ever. You’ll be sent down again…in the year 2000!
Jesus: Really?
God: Nah. Look, I’m sorry about that whole thing, I really am. But just remember Jesus: I work in mysterious ways.
Jesus: You have no idea what you’re doing, do you?
God: I prefer to call it ‘improv’.

May I say it?

Views: 19

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Oh someone please draw a cartoon for this! Great script.
We can't. Jesus would be easy to draw, but God... Last time I checked he does not exist.




Started by Chris Russell in Small Talk Jun 20. 0 Replies


Started by Chris Russell in Small Talk. Last reply by Chris Russell Jun 6. 11 Replies

I'm not an atheist anymore...

Started by Belle Rose in Small Talk. Last reply by Pope Beanie Jun 12. 19 Replies

Alex J O'Connor

Started by JadeBlackOlive in Small Talk. Last reply by Davis Goodman Jun 1. 3 Replies

Blog Posts

Equuleus - the little horse

Posted by Brad Snowder on July 9, 2017 at 1:08am 0 Comments


Posted by Mary smith on July 2, 2017 at 12:35pm 0 Comments

© 2017   Created by Rebel.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service