If Jesus was the “Son of God”(which he wasn’t), he knowingly was on a suicide mission from his “Dad”, who, it stands to reason, was also a God(except that He doesn’t exist).  And “Dad” knew about it(the suicide), because it was His idea–and that’s not nice.

Oh, but wait, Jesus wasn’t on a suicide mission after all, since he and “Dad” knew all along that he(Jesus, I know, this is hard to keep straight) would “be riseneth from the dead”, kick the Grim Reaper’s “sorry ass”, as it were. So it was not, in fact, suicide after all. He(Jesus) kept on going: somewhere.

They call it “Heaven”, I guess.

And the clincher is, that neither he nor “Dad” could do a damn thing about it, since, being both omniscient, neither could be omnipotent at the same time, since that is logically–as the Mexicans say–“eem-poh-see-blay”–no matter who one is and what realm one exists in.

Recap: “Dad” is God, a super-natural being, and therefore is everywhere-always-forever, but somehow He “sent” His only begotten Son Jesus, who is really just Himself divided up and in disguise, incognito(why He needed and how He was able to do that is anybody’s guess,) to the Earth to “save” Mankind from His wrath–because He is “all loving” but apparently gets out-of-control angry and homicidal sometimes–and Jesus ends up getting “suicided” by Romans and He and “Dad” knew about it from the start, well it was just “Dad” doing the knowing since He hadn’t divided Himself up yet, and……don’t even get me started on the alleged, “Holy Spirit”……ok, let’s start over…

Box score: Mission Impossible.

But, kind reader, you may be breath a sigh of relief in realizing that there is no “Dad” and Jesus was just another bi-pedal mammal, a rebel bi-pedal mammal nonetheless, and I commend him for that. But he is a dead rebel mammal now, so I says, to Mankind:“get over it”.

Views: 347

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

No argument in this take but there are literally thousands of such quips that invalidate the bad cartoon.

Is there a mythology so absurd, so impossibly contrived, so demeaning, so controlling that it is rejected by the Nathaniels of the world?

I'm not sure I understand your question.  In fact, I don't.  But I made mention of other religious absurdity absurdity on my "The Meditationist" thread.

The Nathaniels of the world eat up absurdity.

Jesus would be turning in his grave if he could read this blasphemy. Keep up the good work!

But he escaped el grave-o, didn't you hear?!

He put his mother, his friends and aquaintences, bystanders and disciples through a horrificly traumatic nightmare...watching their loved one tortures, mangled, groaning, demeaned, humiliated and dying. The scars must have been life long. Not to mention many players in this game were compelled to do evil things to someone they never would have done otherwise.

But that's all moot...because God doesn't give the slightest damn how many puny people suffer on the way to making or proving a point...which was what: putting himself in the position of the insects he controls.

Jesus was a sociopathic and massochistic rebel animal. If he really did understand humans he achieved his goal he would have learnt and experienced that humans make big mistakes and that torturing them for eternity was not a remotely proportionate response to making a mistake.

Yeah, and then the "Divine Mammal" wanders off like an alcoholic for a few "Lost Years", not tellin' a soul, no texts, nothin', and it worried his Virgin Mom so...

But wait!  Jesus was a "sociopathic rebel" too!?  Are we back in the "Che Guevara Thread"?!

No, rebels do whats they gotta do and it ain't always perdy, no, it's never perdy, and all those Hebrew boys signed up for it and knew what they was gettin' into.  We're talkin' Rome, here, Caesars, shit like that.  Rome don't play nice, dig?  And you if you want Rome off yer cotton pickin' slave ass Hebrew back, you gots to fight fire with fire!

No. His mother didn't ask to be raped by God...impregnated, nor did she sign up to watch her son be tried, splayed open alive, drag a cross for 1km while being humiliated, nailed to a cross and then slowly die over hours. She didn't sign up for that at all. But Adam.and Eve did something bad a few thousand years earlier so...puny insect humans deserve all the horror and suffering they get. But at least humanity was promised a better life once the word was spread...as clearly happened in Europe, Africa and America. Peace prosperity and a flourishing life followed as Christianity spread and civilization collapsed. That's why we thank the mother for her non-pointless horror fest she went through.

That reminds me:  why did God give Eve a va j j?

(Ans:  So Adam would talk to her...)  ZING!

It's what Jesus as a messenger of god didn't say that causes my disbelief. Here is the creator of the ginormous universe, incarnate and there is no insight into the universe at all. A bunch of petty assertions about belief, some lame parables, some cheap magic tricks and a human sacrifice. What a fucking disappointment. Nothing in any gospel that a contemporary Roman couldn't have thought up. I think he was probably a made up messiah to suppress the Jewish revolts of the day.

I hadn't thought of that.  Ok, "Jesus is a Lame Dead Rebel Mammal."

It's what Jesus as a messenger of god didn't say that causes my disbelief. 

Indeed. Extremely good point. When you read the Hindu, Bhuddist and Taoist texts, you get some pretty insightful stuff on human psychology, sociology and politics (though you also get a lot of meaningless woo)  It makes the bible seem like a violent viking saga written for and by cavemen. While the spiritual-philosophers were talking about how the human mind makes errors in processing new information and the relationship between perception and facts...Jesus was telling people it's better to cut out your eyes than to look at and lust for a woman. While Taoists were seriously discussing the value of leaders doing little and showing incredible patience and understanding for those below you and the mistakes they make...Jesus was telling people to believe in him or burn for eternity.


Had there been an actual Jesus he would have been the world's biggest schoolyard bully.


© 2022   Created by Rebel.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service