Ever meet someone who always refers to Jesus as Christ Jesus? Or Jesus Lord Christ? Or some other combination or permutation of Jesus, Christ, Savior, or Lord. It just sounds much holier than plain 'ole Jesus. As if you wouldn't know who they were talking about without all the superfluous-ness. Preachers have invented a whole vernacular to sound "preach-ier". And some of their best followers begin to imitate.

If I hit my thumb with a hammer, I will either yell "Phuck" or "Jesus H. Christ". I don't know if the H is for "Haploid" or "Henry", but I don't care. Somehow it makes my thumb feel better. If there was to be a place called hell, I am pretty sure at least a few of the dammed would be walking around saying "Jesus H. Christ, it's hot down here".

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Some people absolutely lose me once they say, "In Jesus name, Amen."  It's bad enough when they say, "In Jesus' (as in Jesus-es) name."  I always wonder if they know that they are being grammatically hideous, or if they are simply following a convention among the balmier Christians?  Do they not like the sound of saying it correctly?  I just don't get it.  Granted, I probably say some things incorrectly, but this is The Lord we're taking about here.

I love your Jesus H. Christ reference.  I have a bunch of friends with whom I've been corresponding since the early days of the FSM.  Somewhere along the line I started saying, "Jesus H. Christ on a god damn motor scooter!" or "Jesus H. Christ in a dune buggy!"  I keep thinking of various modes of transportation upon which Jesus can get around.  It is just a little fun with blasphemy.  Any deity I could ever believe in would totally get the humor and be ok with it.  Alas, the big JC was apparently not bestowed with a sense of humor. It's a pity.

;) I like Jesus H. Christ on a horse with no name or Jesus H. Christ on a pogo stick.

A tad off topic but, my mom looked at me one day when I was 7yrs old. And with her eyes flashing she said passionately: "Son of a pitch me over a high board fence shame on you for sticking your finger up that monkey's I knew he'd bite you!"

She said it only once. It froze in my mind. Her "rage" and then a smile.

too funny.  I remember Italian grandmas saying things like "throw me down the stairs my shoes".

Christians have a phrase for nearly all situations and occasions. Instead of thinking, they just parrot phrases as the need arises.

He is risen! Thank you Jesus! Jesus loves you. Amen. Lord willing, In Jesus name. It’s a miracle! It’s a mystery. Born again. All you need to do to go to heaven is ask Jesus into your heart. Mountain top experience. Hate the sin, love the sinner. Can someone say amen? On fire for God! Led by the Spirit. Lord willing. Let go and let God. Blah, blah, blah ..........

Can someone say amen, Hallelujah?


Praise cheeses!

Well, I never heard of Jesus H. Christ but I really don't like it when my family is talking and they say "God willing" or "Bless you".

I stopped saying bless you a long time ago because I see a sneeze as something that the person who sneezed has to take account for. No one has to say anything at all, not even the sneezer, but I hate it when a whole bunch of people say it over and over. A sneeze to me is no different from a belch or passing gas and they are all equally uncontrolled so why doesn't sneezing have to be treated as some special distraction?

And then there is "God willing". This typically occurs when someone talks about the future. My sister would say something like, "God willing, if I wake up tomorrow, I'll be able to do..." and it really makes me upset. I don't know why they have to talk as if we aren't going to make it to the next day and there is no reason to think that. No one is sick, injured, and whatnot but I do understand that we could die in our sleep by a surprise biological failure, intruder of the home, and whatnot. While those are factors that are very possible, for us, they are not probable at all. I wish people would stop believing that there is some special guiding force that wakes them up in the morning for a regular day while so many other people are suffering in an unfathomable manner.

When I hear someone say “Jesus, Mary and Holy St. Joseph”, I add “and the donkey”, which will get either a laugh or a glare from them. I smile at both reactions.

I understand the “H” stands for “Harold” :-).

In Spain when someone screws up they sometimes say "oh no...I shit on god" without meaning any offence to god as in "oh no I screwed up in the eyes of the lord". Younger people will say "I shit into god's vagina" (I am not making this up or exaggerating) without necessarily meaning any religious offence. Maybe if they said "I shit on Christ Leaping Lord Holy Mother of Jesus's yoyo top vagina" it would become offensive.


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