Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Lindsey on February 14, 2011 at 9:53pm

Dude. This whole scenario would make like, the best horror movie ever. Jesus comes back and goes on a psychotic rampage, blowing people up terrorizing a small, evangelical town in the bible belt. Its all up to a single nonbeliever to save the world, finally besting Jesus in a giant, melodramatic khung-fu battle.

 

Well, I guess it would really be more of a grindhouse movie, like Planet Terror or Hobo With a Shotgun.

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Permalink Reply by natanael on February 15, 2011 at 10:20am

I would definitely watch that movie!!

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Permalink Reply by Gregor Basić on February 15, 2011 at 12:48pm

I can already see jesus raising his hand and man's eyes turning wine-red and wine starting to pour out from his mouth. Because I know that hollywood physics-unknowing-bastards will make it so :D

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Permalink Reply by Steve M on February 15, 2011 at 6:03pm

Now in the final battle scene would you only be able to kill Jesus by cutting off his head and then absorbing his water to wine making powers?

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Permalink Reply by Lindsey on February 15, 2011 at 6:17pm

Did I forget to mention that Jesus is a grotesque, decaying zombie? So yeah, beheading would be how to kill him. Or possibly a flamethrower. I haven't decided which makes for better dramatic effect.

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Permalink Reply by Steve M on February 15, 2011 at 9:03pm

Awesome!

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Permalink Reply by Gregor Basić on February 16, 2011 at 3:25am

No, this is awesome:

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Permalink Reply by Jarrod Payne on February 15, 2011 at 12:14am

I would watch that movie...

 

This seems like the sort of question that should be sent to the last word column of new scientist, maybe you should post it there and see if we can get a really solid answer from a crazy biologist who has thought about it?

 

I think the answer will depend on whether the wine still contains the other stuff in our blood. Our blood is mostly water as you say but it carries all our haemoglobin, white blood cells etc. Wine is mostly water but contains about 15% alcohol or so. So the way i figure it changing bllod into wine is not the same as changing blood into pure ethanol. So if the water in your blood was replaced by wine and all the other stuff stayed the same you would be really drunk, (perhaps enough for alcohol poisoning? I think we need a chemist to answer this) but i am not sure if you would die immediately. If all the other stuff in our blood dissappeared when the water turned to wine, i imagine you would die really quickly since you would have 0% oxygen in your system very, very fast.

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Permalink Reply by Lindsey on February 15, 2011 at 12:00pm

I don't think we're just talking about blood though, at least I was thinking more on a cellular level. But you would probably die eventually either way, so if you're the poor sap getting transubstantiated then I guess you probably wouldn't care about the particulars.

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Permalink Reply by Reg The Fronkey Farmer on February 15, 2011 at 7:11am

Yipee a wine and cheeses party !!

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Permalink Reply by Gregor Basić on February 15, 2011 at 9:07am

As a mathematician and a computer engineer I say: Infinite recursion, why? Because THE WINE ALREADY HAS WATER IN IT 0_0, what, this water will also turn in to wine, and water in this wine will turn into wine.. I mean you did say turn water into wine as an absolute statement.

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Permalink Reply by Skycomet the Fallen Angel on February 15, 2011 at 5:24pm

It's obvious right? You die of alcohol poisoning.

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