Ok, so Jesus' first miracle was turning water into wine. Let's disregard for the moment the fact that it would take a nuclear accelerator to even come close to doing that (assuming we could even control the process that specifically, which we can't).
Most of the human body is water....
So here's my question to the amateur biologists among us: What if Jesus had used this power as a weapon? What, exactly, would happen to a human body if all of the water in it were suddenly turned to wine? Obviously that person would die, but how? Specifically what would occur?
I fully admit that this is a stupid question, but it just popped into my head today and I'm curious!
Dude. This whole scenario would make like, the best horror movie ever. Jesus comes back and goes on a psychotic rampage, blowing people up terrorizing a small, evangelical town in the bible belt. Its all up to a single nonbeliever to save the world, finally besting Jesus in a giant, melodramatic khung-fu battle.
Well, I guess it would really be more of a grindhouse movie, like Planet Terror or Hobo With a Shotgun.
I would watch that movie...
This seems like the sort of question that should be sent to the last word column of new scientist, maybe you should post it there and see if we can get a really solid answer from a crazy biologist who has thought about it?
I think the answer will depend on whether the wine still contains the other stuff in our blood. Our blood is mostly water as you say but it carries all our haemoglobin, white blood cells etc. Wine is mostly water but contains about 15% alcohol or so. So the way i figure it changing bllod into wine is not the same as changing blood into pure ethanol. So if the water in your blood was replaced by wine and all the other stuff stayed the same you would be really drunk, (perhaps enough for alcohol poisoning? I think we need a chemist to answer this) but i am not sure if you would die immediately. If all the other stuff in our blood dissappeared when the water turned to wine, i imagine you would die really quickly since you would have 0% oxygen in your system very, very fast.