Ok, so Jesus' first miracle was turning water into wine.  Let's disregard for the moment the fact that it would take a nuclear accelerator to even come close to doing that (assuming we could even control the process that specifically, which we can't).

 

Most of the human body is water....

 

So here's my question to the amateur biologists among us:  What if Jesus had used this power as a weapon?  What, exactly, would happen to a human body if all of the water in it were suddenly turned to wine?  Obviously that person would die, but how?  Specifically what would occur?

 

I fully admit that this is a stupid question, but it just popped into my head today and I'm curious!

 

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I would definitely watch that movie!!
I can already see jesus raising his hand and man's eyes turning wine-red and wine starting to pour out from his mouth. Because I know that hollywood physics-unknowing-bastards will make it so :D
Now in the final battle scene would you only be able to kill Jesus by cutting off his head and then absorbing his water to wine making powers?
Did I forget to mention that Jesus is a grotesque, decaying zombie? So yeah, beheading would be how to kill him. Or possibly a flamethrower. I haven't decided which makes for better dramatic effect.
Awesome!

No, this is awesome:

I would watch that movie...

 

This seems like the sort of question that should be sent to the last word column of new scientist, maybe you should post it there and see if we can get a really solid answer from a crazy biologist who has thought about it?

 

I think the answer will depend on whether the wine still contains the other stuff in our blood. Our blood is mostly water as you say but it carries all our haemoglobin, white blood cells etc. Wine is mostly water but contains about 15% alcohol or so. So the way i figure it changing bllod into wine is not the same as changing blood into pure ethanol. So if the water in your blood was replaced by wine and all the other stuff stayed the same you would be really drunk, (perhaps enough for alcohol poisoning? I think we need a chemist to answer this) but i am not sure if you would die immediately. If all the other stuff in our blood dissappeared when the water turned to wine, i imagine you would die really quickly since you would have 0% oxygen in your system very, very fast.

I don't think we're just talking about blood though, at least I was thinking more on a cellular level. But you would probably die eventually either way, so if you're the poor sap getting transubstantiated then I guess you probably wouldn't care about the particulars.
Yipee a wine and cheeses party !!
As a mathematician and a computer engineer I say: Infinite recursion, why? Because THE WINE ALREADY HAS WATER IN IT 0_0, what, this water will also turn in to wine, and water in this wine will turn into wine.. I mean you did say turn water into wine as an absolute statement.
It's obvious right? You die of alcohol poisoning.

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