Its amazing how people can just cut you out of their lives.

I just recently had a falling out with a friend over something i said on twitter of all places. I participated in a silly trending topic. It was called #icantdateyou. I wrote #Icantdateyou if you believe in fairy tales like noahs ark or anything in the bible. my friend reads that and without even talking to me decides to cut me out of his life. his words were "thats the last straw. you've been blacklisted. nice knowing you homie".




backstory. Ive known him for years now. we were always cool, laughing playing xbox. my views are well known in my circle. He was arrested and did a 3 yr bid iirc. I sent his wife money while he was locked up. only one time for $50 but she was in need. he was my friend.


So this happens and just like that he cuts me off. He mentioned to a mutual friend that he loves his god and any attack on god is an attack on him. wha??????? when the hell did he get so righteous? needless to say it upset me. Im beside myself over this.


has anyone had something like this happen? how did you handle it?

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I had a similar experience with a Jewish friend, so I feel your pain.  She was having problems with one of her neighbours (an uneducated drunk, well known in the area), and one afternoon he spoke to me outside in the street.  I replied, and was civil to him as I figured we were all neighbours and should learn to get along. When my friend found out that I had been pleasant to him, she went totally off the rails, accusing me of being a nazi-lover amonst other things!  She hasn't spoken to me since, and will walk past me in the street without acknowledging my presence.


Initially, it really hurt my feelings and I tried desparately to speak with her, but she was having none of it.  I felt that she had dealt with the man (who had called her names) and it would do no good for me to get involved.  She felt that he was such a terrible person that she wished a slow and painful death on him!  I tried to explain that it was a bit extreme and I don't wish that on anyone, and it wasn't very charitable to say the least.  As a Jewish woman, I am sure she has seen her fair share of prejudice, but that doesn't excuse that kind of behaviour.  I hoped she would calm down and remember that friends can have opposing views and still be friends.  I guess not.


It's not an easy thing to bear, but if you can't get through to your friend, you will have to let him go.  I wish that T would talk to me as I miss her company and friendship, but she will still ignore me now, over a year later.  To make it worse, she will speak to my boyfriend, but not me, when we are out together!


It's unfortunate, but there is nothing you can do to change some peoples minds, and you will have to move on.  It's not easy, but you can't blame yourself if your friend can't accept you for who you are - silly comments on Twitter and all!

Don't be so surprised by this, I've known people that are so self-absorbed that it wouldn't matter a damn thing that you've done for them. Hell I've know people that it wouldn't matter that if you brought them back from the dead, they'll think that you owed them that. It sounds like this guy and his wife were playing you like a fiddle, they used the "Simpathy card" on you. I know of a "friend", (well at least that's what he calls himself.) And I knew him for 7 years, and his family. And we went on many adventures and had lots fun, but the moment he got a promotion at his job, that F***** acted like he didn't even know me from Atom. This guy was like a brother to me and then he dose this. So all I can tell you is, just learn form this lesson. Actions describe on who and what people are. And don't forget it, and it's ok to have grudges against them, it's just a way a saying; "I know who and what you are, and I remember what you've done to me. And because of that, I know better not to forgive you or trust you anymore."  Trust, just can not be trusted.
Over the years, I'm 60, I've lost many friends, most through just time and distance, but a few because of something said or done.  No matter what you do, someone isn't gonna like it.  Your true friends will be there to the end.

Its very disappointing because as far as im concerned when around friends no topic is off limits. We ALL conducted ourselves in civilized manner and spoke on a wide range of topics, mostly tasteless lol. God and religion came up often everyone shared their views as equals and no one caught feelings and got sour. Including him.

The other part is when he said the "last straw" wth? was he secretly hating me all this time? I always spoke highly of him and to find out that he disliked me so much hurts. Well never again. good riddance.

Just remind him that if he hears god - that's cool. If he sees god - he is insane. So god is just a bad radio station with commercials for funeral parlors.
I'm so sorry. I think it is probably part of being an atheist that you will end up losing friends. Usually it will happen when they find out you are one. I was friends with a fundamentalist who was of the quiet, nice type... not the hellfire and brimstone, screamy type. He didn't know I was an atheist for months... until I came out about it on facebook by changing my "religion" status on "out campaign week" last year. We had been good friends with some differences of opinion for 4 years... since my sophomore year of high school. And apparently all it took was my admission that I was an atheist for him to never speak to me again.
Oh yeah. How did I handle it? I moved on. If someone is going to cut you off that easily... they were never a real friend in the first place. I admit that romantic love has conditions... but love of a friend or family member should be basically unconditional. If it is not... they never were a real friend at all.

I agree with 100% with the Facebook is not church, I wish I thought of that. But yeah, you're right, if you are forced to read and listen to their shit, I think it's only fair for them to meet you halfway and listen to you.  What the hell are they trying to accomplish, "spread the gospel?" Hell it's already spread, I think the world knows about jesus by now, you can stop spreading it. 


That was a good one, I might put that in a blog.

...he's too deluded to realize how silly he is being..just like it takes that kind of delusion to think that you cant be friends with someone if they dont have the same beliefs as you.

it's sad, but I dont really think there is much you can do, except continue to be civil with him. maybe he'll realize he was being silly? idk..i think that "an attack on his god" is just that. not an attack on him.

Since becoming an atheist I have lost a large majority of my friends. Some of those friends were very dear to me and I cared a lot for. It amazes me how quickly somebody is willing to throw out an amazing friendship over a silly little theological difference. I have been there.... I know it hurts.... Just hang in there.
Sorry about that man, it comes with the territory though. I’ve been an atheist for many years now, although I was a very quiet one for a long time, I have 10 brothers and sisters and only one sister talks to me now, it’s been about 7 years since I’ve seen any of my brothers or sisters. My closest sister growing up left a message on my answering machine a few years ago telling me I was a F-ing freak and that I had no accountability. Recently a good friend of 20 years stopped talking to me when he got religious all of the sudden, it really hurt me, he was my best friend. It’s hard to do, but you have to let them go and move on. Good luck!

I am VERY sorry to hear this Deb.

I completely agree about it being somewhat hypocritical/ironic.

"I'm coping by staying very, very, very busy and filling my life with as much enjoyment and goodness as possible because this life is precious and short and there's no point in letting others ruin it or their religious beliefs trample on our time and happiness in this brief existence.  Religion does not equal goodness, kindness, or meaning--it just robs people by mostly closing minds and putting up walls. "


Good for you for staying busy and not dwelling on this. It truly is your mother's loss.
Religion, as we have all seen I'm sure, definitely closes minds and builds some mighty strong walls. ::sigh::


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