It's official: God determines the outcome of sporting events

As of January 2014, half of sports fans said they believe supernatural forces are at work in sports. 26% pray to God to help their team, 25% think their team is or was cursed, 21% perform rituals before sporting events, and 19% believe that God determines the outcome.

Well sports fans, as long as half of you are trite to the point of vulgarity: I'm delighted to see how much your God enjoys tormenting Peyton Manning.

Tags: God, sports

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Obviously, the Seahawks are god's chosen people.

Obviously, the Seahawks are god's chosen people.
Damn straight! Lol

All-time it would have to be the Chicago Bears. But over the last 20 years God has showered blessings on the New England Patriots (and heaped curses on the Cleveland Browns) after having come to His senses. ;)

To take this petty notion of favoritism one step forward it should be asked  what criteria a supernatural being would employ to determine who is the winner and who is the loser. The proposition is absurd.

To take this petty notion of favoritism one step forward it should be asked  what criteria a supernatural being would employ to determine who is the winner and who is the loser. The proposition is absurd.

Agreed.

The part that I find trite and vulgar: today in southern and eastern Africa, 5,500 children will die for lack of daily bread. In devoutly religious Africa, no doubt the parents of these dying children pray to God, begging Him to use His magical powers to save them.

The children die anyway. The death toll exceeds the 911 attacks, but it happens there every day. That's over 2 million children per year.

Meanwhile, today in the west, millions of well-fed Christians pray to God for things like pets, relationships, personal finances, and (of course) sporting events. Most say God intervenes to help.

Nothing fails like prayer.

That is an absolutely hilarious comic.

I can't quite read the date on it, so I imagine it's fairly old.  Speaking as someone in Colorado I am sure many of my neighbors uttered the same prayer and what they got this time certainly wasn't what they meant either.  The comic needs a sequel.

It reminds me of all the cautions in Greek myths and history about misinterpreting what oracles say. 

Croesus' uneasy relations with the Greeks obscures the larger fact that he was the last bastion of the Ionian cities against the increasing Persian power in Anatolia. He began preparing a campaign against Cyrus the Great of Persia. Before setting out he turned to the Delphic oracle and the oracle of Amphiaraus to inquire whether he should pursue this campaign and whether he should also seek an alliance. The oracles answered, with typical ambiguity, that if Croesus attacked the Persians, he would destroy a great empire – this would become one of the most famous oracular statements from Delphi.

(From the Wikipedia article).  Of course it came true, but the great empire that was destroyed was Croesus's not the Persians. 

The difference between this and Tebow getting not quite the answer he had in mind, of course, is that in this case the alleged communication is running in the other direction.

The difference between this and Tebow getting not quite the answer he had in mind, of course, is that in this case the alleged communication is running in the other direction.

Yes, that...

...and that Manning did lead the empire to the Super Bowl and then to its destruction.

Q: How much can Tim Tebow bench?
A: Usually, the whole game.

And when a Canadian team (filled with mostly Atheist supporters) beats an American team we would have some questions. Where was your god now? Where is the power of prayer? The answer: Satan.

And when a Canadian team (filled with mostly Atheist supporters) beats an American team we would have some questions. Where was your god now? Where is the power of prayer? The answer: Satan.

Well, the answer is obvious.

American football is the one true faith.

God pays no attention to the rest.

;)

ok!

DOES THIS ACTUALLY CORRELATE TO GAME OUTCOMES?

DOES THIS ACTUALLY CORRELATE TO GAME OUTCOMES?

Actually yes, if we presume that being popular translates into more people rooting for your success and thus more prayers for your victory.

Take the last Super Bowl for an example. The most popular quarterback on the most popular team just played in the most popular TV program ever aired in the US, and was handed arguably the worst game and the most humiliating loss of his career.

The Chicago Bears are the second-most hated team, but also the most successful one of all time in NFL history.

The New England Patriots have the most hated quarterback and are the second-most hated team in the NFL, but they've been the most successful team for the last 20 years.

Tim Tebow, (in)famous for much on-field and off-field praying, is the third most popular quarterback, but he's been cut from three teams and is no longer in the NFL at all.

Bonus: Tebow once 'laid hands' on player Brian Dawkins after he suffered a serious neck injury, but Dawkins ended his career in football while citing health and injury concerns.

It seems that, at least in NFL football, the last thing you want to do for your team is pray for victory. Nothing fails like prayer.

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Posted by Quincy Maxwell on July 20, 2014 at 9:37pm 13 Comments

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