I want your honest opinions here. Please read the following link about why men rape.

http://www.timeshighereducation.co.uk/features/why-men-want-to-rape...

I will be honest. The thought that this might be true is freeing. I am recovering from multiple rapes throughout my life. For the past 24 hours I have been very sick. I have been retraumatized and now I am trying to get centered to where I feel safe again. I don't feel safe right now. I want to know why so many men have raped me. Why??? So I just googled "why men rape" and I found this article. It seems like a theory that has been dismissed, yet it is the first time I have ever read that rape is an evolutionary adaptation to mating. Do you realize how freeing this is for me????? If this is true then it really does mean that 1. I am truly NOT to blame, and 2. I am not a "victim" of violence. I know that probably doesn't make sense to you, but in a twisted sort of way it gives me my power back to accept that the men who have hurt me throughout my life.....all of them....were doing so because of an evolutionary drive, not because there was or is anything wrong with ME!

For years I have been told that MY boundaries are weak. And I am sure (I know) this is true. But I am not any more "weak" or "soft" than many women, and I am sick of racking my brain trying to figure out what I did wrong and how to "fix" myself. What if I don't need fixing? What if I am just fine? What if WE need to take a look as a society to realize our own understanding of rape is incomplete? I understand the worry that sex offenders will use this defense to their benefit, but the current judicial system here in the U.S really does no justice. Rapists are rarely prosecuted anyway. What if it REALLY is not my fault.....but furthermore.....what of there isn't a DAMN thing wrong with me?

Do you think rape is an evolved adaptation as this article suggests? Or is it an act of violence as we have always been told? Or am I just too fucked up to know what I'm saying right now? I am sick, and tired, and I am afraid to face the world, because I don't feel safe at all. So I don't know if anyone even can identify with me. I don't know.

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The truth will set you free :)

I don't know much about you but it seems to me that you need to associate more with nice, friendly men who are not controlling.  

You need to learn to speak your mind when you are put into an uncomfortable position in physical contacts. 

You probably have a confidence or self-esteem problem.  Boosting your confidence and over all self image will be good for you. 

MOST men will respect your protests.  You have to understand this.  IN NO WAY should you EVER feel like you should allow them to have sex with you just because you don't want to made them upset or because you feel like it's your duty as a woman to please the male.  (Not saying any of this is true to you, but it's possible.)

Be yourself, be who you want to be, don't let yourself be a sex object.  Speak out, Practice verbalizing protests of sexual advances with your rape counselor if you need too. 

You can be who you want to be, but I think you need an overall confidence and assertiveness boost.  

Do you think I missed anything?

But sadly, rape counselors will ALWAYS claim that there is NOTHING that a woman could EVER DO that could POSSIBLY be the result of a rape and that 100% of the blame is ALWAYS on the rapist and 0% blame is put on the VICTIM.

Rape is the rapist's choice. Always.

Particular women can be relatively more vulnerable to falling victim to someone else's bad choice, and yes, women do need to be (and actively are) educated in how to become less vulnerable, how to overcome 'victim mentality', how to make better choices about with whom they choose to spend their time, etc., however, rape is always the choice of the rapist. No one can make that choice for the rapist and no one can 'help' the rapist make that choice. Even if someone walks down a dark alley at night when they know they shouldn't, that person would not be blamed for being murdered, so how can a woman ever be blamed for being raped, regardless of what she does?

I agree that whether to rape or not is 100% the choice of the perpetrator. Whether to expose herself to danger is within the realm of the potential victim, too. If I drive my car through a neighborhood known for carjackings, that is my choice, although that doesn't relieve the carjacker of any responsibility for his actions.

Women who party with strange men are taking a chance, for example. Provocative dress is called "provocative" because it might provoke something. That's simple English.

Male OR female, when you take chances, it can go bad. Very bad.

I'll agree with all of that, except the "provocative" part. Whether dress or behavior, a person can look or act however that person chooses, it's not an invitation. Provocative is EVERYWHERE and not everyone rapes because they're exposed to provocativeness. Clothing does not cause rape. Old women in housecoats get raped.

Single women who are in the market for a mate are expected to look and act provocatively. If a single female goes to a party hoping to meet males, naturally she will engage in some attention-getting. There is no way to guarantee she will only attract the right sort of male. 

It often seems like the feminists want women to have it both ways: to be able to be provocative in dress or manner and to only attract suitable potential partners. The want women to be able to do anything they like and have it be risk-free. That simply isn't realistic. It's classic "pie in the sky."

If I open a store, I can put everything in piles where the customers can't handle them or, to create more interest, I can put it in attractive displays where customers can handle it...and also possibly five-finger-discount it.

We have to accept some risks. We have a right to bitch about them, too, At the same time, though, sometimes (notice I said "sometimes") our choices backfire on us. 

No woman should ever ever be raped, no one's car should ever be carjacked, no one's home should be burglarized, no one should ever be subjected to a hold-up, no one's child should ever be kidnapped. But for all of those things, there are things one can do to minimize the chance they happened.

And that isn't to remove any blame at all from the perps. 

Dressing provocatively doesn't ipso facto cause rape but it may arouse interest in the wrong type. If she meets an interesting guy at a party, for example, maybe a couple dates in broad daylight where she gets to assess his attitudes is a better idea than "hooking up" back at his place after the party.

I wish the world were a perfectly safe place, too, but insisting that the world be perfect will not make it so.

"feminists want women to. . " Consider what you're saying there.

How about humanists want fellow humans to be able to express themselves freely without being 'guilty' for the actions of others. Rape is rarely about sex, so the provocative dress problem is essentially irrelevant. For those hypothetical few other cases, is it really accurate that some man is out in the world and all of a sudden, a woman crosses his path that looks so good that he literally cannot control himself? It's a completely ridiculous idea. 

Feminist isn't a dirty word and shouldn't be used as one. A feminist is merely someone for human rights with a focus on one particular group of people in need of support to get similar rights to those held by others.

The right to dress as one chooses is no more controversial than any other right to be who a person is and should never imply that anyone deserves bad treatment of any sort. If a doctor that provides abortions is blown-up in her/his clinic, the doctor may have been aware of the dangers of doing a particular service, given the extreme feelings of others, but does that mean the doctor should have given in to the extremists and not provided a service the doctor believes in? If an atheist is mocked and threatened in a Christian community, should she/he just pretend to be a Christian, give them what they want to avoid the guilt of provoking hatred by not taking her/his children to Sunday School? How far does this go? . . .if a cross is burned on a family's front lawn, should they have stopped being black in a white community? . .

Furthermore, the idea of "provocative" dress is outdated. One can hardly visit a movie theatre without being exposed to gratuitous nudity, sexuality and 'provocativeness', so how are we now so sensitive to a woman that is actually wearing clothes that men just absolutely cannot control themselves. . . that is: certain, few, particular, rare men cannot control themselves. . .and somehow women bear some guilt in this? Absurd.

Rape is rarely about sex, so the provocative dress problem is essentially irrelevant.

Explain, please, why a man who wants to exercise power over a woman through rape couldn't possibly be using provocative dress as a target selector. ("She's a whore looking for sex anyway," might be their mindset.)

Look, nobody here is arguing that women shouldn't have the right dress however they like. It's just like anything else, though: exercising one's rights can always have consequences. Regrettable consequences that shouldn't have happened. However, we don't live in a world where "shouldn't happen" inevitably means "won't happen."

The right to dress as one chooses is no more controversial than any other right to be who a person is and should never imply that anyone deserves bad treatment of any sort.

I suppose I have a right to dress up like a KKK'er. Are you saying that in doing so I'm not inviting trouble?

...the idea of "provocative" dress is outdated. One can hardly visit a movie theatre without being exposed to gratuitous nudity, sexuality and 'provocativeness', so how are we now so sensitive to a woman that is actually wearing clothes that men just absolutely cannot control themselves.

So you think, for example, that wearing a micro-miniskirt with a see-through top and no bra is appropriate under all circumstances? To wear to work, for example?

Explain, please, why a man who wants to exercise power over a woman through rape couldn't possibly be using provocative dress as a target selector. ("She's a whore looking for sex anyway," might be their mindset.)

Because this doesn't represent reality. Predators do not seek "provocativeness", they seek weakness.

Unseen, I joined this forum expecting to find reasonable people willing to have honest discussions, but what I have found is an astounding number of people who are simply determined to make ridiculous arguments that do not line up with facts or clear thinking.  . .haven't encountered so many absurd arguments since I left church many years ago. You're comparing a typical American female with someone wearing Ku Klux Klan attire? Un-freaking-believable.

"Predators" when applied to humans is metaphorical at best. Human males aren't creatures of instinct like my cat. Humans have brains and all of the other traits of human beings, save empathy. The predation of a rapist isn't instinctual, it's intellectual (taking planning, intention, etc.)

You're comparing a typical American female with someone wearing Ku Klux Klan attire? Un-freaking-believable.

You seem to be standing on your head to miss the point: provocative dress can have adverse results. Believe it or don't.

Burglarly is also always the choice of the burglar.  Leaving your house and car doors unlocked - And your personal safe open, in your opinion, puts no responsibility on the one being the victim of a burglary?

Plenty of examples of situations similar to that above have been provided in this thread.

I may be argued out of my position, but I stated earlier that responsibility can be given to more than one party.  Party (A) is 100% responsible and Party (B) is 5% responsible.  Because you have 2 sentient beings making 2 separate set of decisions leading up to any one event.

(I do still think we have some free-will even after listening to lots of debates on the subject.)

In no way would I ever make the rapists responsibility less than 100%.  

Also, "blaming" is such a strong word.  It seems to have a connotation of "she deserved it" - Something I would never agree with.  

It appears that you're saying that the rapist is 100% responsible for committing the rape and the victim is responsible to her/himself for being insufficiently careful of the dangers that simply exist in our society. If that is what you're saying, then we are saying the same thing. One important notation that must be made, however, is that how one behaves, appears, where one goes, etc, are issues that are involved in an extremely few number of rape cases. The vast majority of rapes are committed by people known to the victim and are completely non-dependent on how the victim is presenting her/himself at the time of the rape. Sex has little to nothing to do with most rapes.

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