I want your honest opinions here. Please read the following link about why men rape.


I will be honest. The thought that this might be true is freeing. I am recovering from multiple rapes throughout my life. For the past 24 hours I have been very sick. I have been retraumatized and now I am trying to get centered to where I feel safe again. I don't feel safe right now. I want to know why so many men have raped me. Why??? So I just googled "why men rape" and I found this article. It seems like a theory that has been dismissed, yet it is the first time I have ever read that rape is an evolutionary adaptation to mating. Do you realize how freeing this is for me????? If this is true then it really does mean that 1. I am truly NOT to blame, and 2. I am not a "victim" of violence. I know that probably doesn't make sense to you, but in a twisted sort of way it gives me my power back to accept that the men who have hurt me throughout my life.....all of them....were doing so because of an evolutionary drive, not because there was or is anything wrong with ME!

For years I have been told that MY boundaries are weak. And I am sure (I know) this is true. But I am not any more "weak" or "soft" than many women, and I am sick of racking my brain trying to figure out what I did wrong and how to "fix" myself. What if I don't need fixing? What if I am just fine? What if WE need to take a look as a society to realize our own understanding of rape is incomplete? I understand the worry that sex offenders will use this defense to their benefit, but the current judicial system here in the U.S really does no justice. Rapists are rarely prosecuted anyway. What if it REALLY is not my fault.....but furthermore.....what of there isn't a DAMN thing wrong with me?

Do you think rape is an evolved adaptation as this article suggests? Or is it an act of violence as we have always been told? Or am I just too fucked up to know what I'm saying right now? I am sick, and tired, and I am afraid to face the world, because I don't feel safe at all. So I don't know if anyone even can identify with me. I don't know.

Views: 2096

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

I've only skimmed the article, and am still forming ideas, but here's my start on the subject.

I admire Jerry Coyne, quoted in the article:

Evolutionary biologist Jerry Coyne of the University of Chicago has called the book "the worst efflorescence of evolutionary psychology that I have ever seen", claiming that it is "irresponsible, tendentious and the science is sloppy". Rape, he says, is pathological, not natural.

Regarding the science, using the example of scorpion fly rape does seem to me irrelevant to hominid behavior where social norms and personal decision-making drive the species to success more than a specialized grappling organ. Why not mention female insects that eat the male after sex, right?

Primate species have a wide range of mating behaviors, and (as in several other species), male dominance is usually worked out ahead of time, before mating takes place. Dominance leading to mating rights can be determined by males in battle, clear social dominance (e.g. among gorillas), or males that display the best plumage, like in peacocks. (Otoh, does anyone care to start a Bonobo Club here?)

It's important to understand the difference between natural selection and artificial selection. The raping organ of the scorpion fly evolved naturally. But genocide (e.g. Nazis exterminating Jews, or Genghis Kahn's clan spreading genes by raping and pillaging) was an artificial selection process. Choices were made, without Mother Nature's blessing.

I'll join the Bonobo club

Me too.

See you there. 

Evolutionary biologist Jerry Coyne of the University of Chicago has called the book "the worst efflorescence of evolutionary psychology that I have ever seen", claiming that it is "irresponsible, tendentious and the science is sloppy". Rape, he says, is pathological, not natural.

I don't know. I suspect that in a state of nature (pre-civilization) the male would take sex if it wasn't freely given.

Could be. Albeit lacking evidence, I lean more toward the notion that sexual behavior was much more influenced by female choice, backed up with closer (than today's) social policing and support. I think rape might have been a lot less tolerable, back when daily, face-to-face interactions had to center more around cooperative survival activities. In any case, there was enough mating in and among populations to keep the species going. There is even a point where too much procreation hurts long term survival.

1250–1300;  (v.) Middle English rapen  < Anglo-French raper  < Latin rapere  to seize,carry off by force, plunder; (noun) Middle English  < Anglo-French ra a p e ),derivative of raper (from Dictionary.com)

The word "rape" entered the English language just before the early beginnings of the Renaissance. How long can a concept exist with no word attached to it? "You know, Baldric, I mean that taking of sex by a stronger person for which we as yet have no word."

"There is even a point where too much procreation hurts long term survival."

Yea, like today with 7.5 Billion people on the same tiny planet. :(

The planet is far from overpopulated. Our various populations tend to be so concentrated in particular areas that the vast bulk of the planet is largely unused. Just think of the Amazon rainforest, Northern China, or Siberia, for example.

It is what we are doing with the planet that is the problem.

Actual overpopulation problems tend to exist in urban centers, and seldom have to do with lack of food or water (more likely the quality of the food and water).

Of course a country in a severe drought may not be able to support its population temporarily, but that is a local and usually transient problem. The US, Canada, Russia and other large Northern Hemisphere countries actually produce food surpluses more than adequate to feed the entire planet. The US actually pays farmers, in some cases, NOT to grow crops!

Here's an interesting article entitled Overpopulation Is Not the Problem.

I would  like to create a thought experiment and have everyone answer the question objectively and truthfully. 

Let's say that we could discover the top 20 things that lead to being raped.  

Such as walking alone at night in dark city alleys when there is no need.

Or perhaps frequently leaving your bar/nightclub drinks unattended.

Or perhaps frequently going home with males you don't know very well (Or do know well) after getting wasted.

Or perhaps being a total tease and taking guys home, perhaps kissing them, stripping for them, talking to them about how much you want sex - Then shutting down and pushing the guy away with LMR (Last minute resistance.)

*Insert other top 16 factors of being raped here*

Let's say, (A) participates and takes part in all 20 actions on a regular basis.

Is it (A)'s fault when she get's raped?  

I vote yes.  Yes it is. She needs to take responsibility and change her actions if she wants to deter rapists in the future.  


The opposite question.  (B) practices the top 20 known methods of detracting rapists.  

(B) get's raped regardless. 

Is it (B)'s fault for getting raped?

Absolutely not.  


There is and never will be a magical world where all men can be educated and magically changed into non-rapists.  

Rapists are out there and it's the womans responsibility to take precautions and develop themselves through confidence and maturity.  To be taught to make better decisions about when and where to meet men, especially while intoxicated and in confined areas with one-on-one time. 

Sadly, (B) is going to continue to happen even in an ever increasing perfect world of educating men to becoming non-rapists.  

But do not neglect (A) as being faultless. (In my opinion)

I wish to let it be known that I was subjected to sexual molestation/abuse at the age of 5 by a male babysitter.  He did it once to me and my brother by threatening to turn out the lights while we sleep.  At that age, I would have convulsions and scream if there was no night-light so I was prepared to do ANYTHING to prevent such a traumatizing experience of being locked in total darkness.  

so I am not in a category of a privileged male without any understanding of what it means to be taken advantage of while helpless and defenseless. 

Also to note, I have never thought of it being my fault in any way.  It actually only began to disturb me later in life when I began to realize how horrifically I had been violated as my brother, aged 7, was involved as well. 


With that said, let me be crystal clear in a clarification that I left out above.  

It is ALWAYS the fault of the rapist, YES!!!

This to me, however, does NOT detract from responsibilities of those being raped.  (Under certain circumstances, that is.)

I believe more than 1 party can be "At fault" in any given situation.  


Perhaps the reason a female , after being raped, "FEELS" like they are to blame, or that it is their fault - Is because there is some truth to it? The woman feels like they made a big mistake(s) that led to being raped.

To say that 0.00000000000% of fault is to be given to the one being raped just smacks me in the head as being an impossibility.  

I understand social therapists want to help someone cope with an issue.  But it doesn't make what they say true.  Only therapeutic.

As for law enforcement, Many of them are males and probably have an irrational and misguided understanding of rape.  That the woman is just crying wolf after feeling guilty or that she is crazy and wants to hurt the reputation of someone or wants attention.  Or that she deserved what she got for being slutty, etc.

This may sound cold but I believe you may allow yourself to get over it by simply realizing it happened, maybe it happened 3 times or more.  But it happened.  There is not hidden meaning to it, no secret to unlock about yourself.  You were a target of rapists.  

Don't look for meaning when there is none.  It happened, it's in the past.  Try to move forward and realize there was and is nothing wrong with you.  

I find injustices against children especially horrific considering they are the most innocent and helpless of all.  


© 2018   Created by Rebel.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service