If heaven exists, what do you want god to say when you arrive at the pearly gates?

This question has been asked of guests of The Actors Studio interview show and I have yet to hear the response that I would give to the question. My response would be:

"I'm sorry."

That's right. I would like to hear god apologize.

For what?, you might ask.

For lots of things:
Evil
Pain
Suffering
Hiding
Evangelicals
War
Disease
Republicans
Tyrants
Floods
Earthquakes
Hurricanes
Tornadoes
Famine
CEOs
Greed
Hate
Fox News
Serial Murders
Rapists
Liars
Racism
The Mafia
Religion
Birth Defects
etc.,etc.,etc.

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"You bring me my CHEEZ-WHIZ ,Boy?!"
Turn off/mute the music on this video to watch it.

"Don't worry, the religious nuts got it all wrong."
"Oops, you're here too early. Back you go!"
Good job on passing the test! It was pretty clever, huh? All those Christians thought they had it right, but didn't they realize it was just too easy to find all the answers written down for them in a book? It was very lazy and unconvincing, but YOU... you really dug for the answers. Welcome!"

lol... gay, but... yeah...
Gay?
Gotcha!
I would agree with the "I'm sorry" and would also like to hear "there is no hell". I don't think I could enjoy heaven knowing there is a hell. Then, I'd like a clear explanation of how the whole set-up is possible, how does this heaven thing work, ey Lord?
"Don't worry, those nuts got it all wrong. Heaven is like the Nexus from Star Trek: Generations. You get to decide what it is, time has no meaning, etc. Enjoy your eternity doing whatever the fuck you want and never hearing from me again."

And yes, I do want God to say "fuck" for sure :D
I think what I'd like to hear is the last message of God to His creation from Douglas Adams' Hitchhikers Guide: "We're sorry for the inconvenience".

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