No.. seriously. It will be great.

I know a lot of people that are active in "The Lifestyle" (does the label amuse you, too? I mean, "The Lifestyle" hardly makes sense, but everyone seems to claim it. Like S&M so much you live it on a daily basis? You're living "The Lifestyle." Have an open relationship? It's "The Lifestyle" I mean, the title must be a catch-all phrase for anything most folks don't do.)

Now, I don't particularly feel comfortable having sex with anyone other than my boyfriend, (Though we can negotiate if he is present!) but I'm cool when and if other people do. Three-way marriages, live in subs.. hey, whatever makes you all happy, right? Right. Live your life to the fullest.
But with my upcoming nuptials (Which I still haven't found an officiant for, btw. *Shameless plug begging for help* ) I was thinking that it would be handy to have a few other wives around the house.
I mean, come on! I'm working two jobs, trying to find time to develop my writing, bringing up/training a Search and Rescue puppy, cooking and shopping for myself, my boyfriend, my roommate, and yes...the dog. (He gets home made meals, too.) Lately it's been the roommate's girlfriend as well. And believe me, with the exception of my boyfriend, NO ONE cleans up after themselves.
Sex? Well, I'm willing to share him, but don't get your hopes up. He's so busy and stressed that putting out is a rare venture. It's nearly impossible with such a crowded house. Like I said before. We can discuss it later, but sex is the LAST reason for another wife/husband.

Think about all the benefits added spouses can bring:
Another income.
Extra hands around the house.
Shared puppy sitting duties.
Someone to talk to about the others.
Someone to talk to the others when you want alone time.

Polyamorous relationships just make so much sense. The only hold up I have with polygamy is the fact that it's usually tied to some misogynistic religious crap.
So let's start a commune.
We are going to need a bigger house....maybe an island somewhere. I'm cool with that... as long as it has internet access.
Who's with me?
What are your ideas on polygamy?
What's your ideal "Lifestyle"
What would you like or dislike about it?
How would you divide up the jobs?
(I'll pitch in with the cooking and gardening as well as hold down one job. You folks call dibs on the rest.)
What rules would you set in place to keep the peace?

Ready?
Discuss!

Tags: commune, fun, polygamy

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I say we just take over libraries.. lol

I kind of have a mixed opinion of polyamory.  Yes, there is a lot of religious bullshit (on both sides of the fence) for the number of wives you have, their roles, and how you treat them; but even aside from that, there is this notion that seems to be at least prevalent, if not actually universal, that if you take multiple partners, especially if you are the only one who benefits (usually sexual benefit is considered first), it is not only selfish of you, but also implies that you can't make a serious commitment to anybody.

 

The other side of this is pretty much everything mentioned above- shared responsibilities, shared social interaction.  More hands on any given job, etc.  but I really think that unless all people in a given relationship are actually sexual partners, it's something to avoid, because without a very serious relational commitment to everybody in the relationship, if and when kids come into play, everybody splits things up and tries to get their own genes the best deal; this is the evident problem with polygamy in the muslim world and in much of Africa. 

 

The other problem with polygamy is that there is always some 'heirarchy' of 'I was fucking him first, so I have authority over you'.  there's no real way to get rid of this, and so any modern hominid is going to butt heads with this at some point- lets face it, we all take every advantage we can get in a fair fight, and this is just one of the many points of leverage that will be used.  If you're fine with a pecking order, great; otherwise, it's something I'd avoid altogether.  Also note that this has been the structure of polygamy in various cultures for thousands of years, for example in china (where polygamy really never died out but only slowed down heavily after being propagandized by the communists as 'typical proletariat/bourgeois' behavior and subsequently being banned, leading to a structural change from one house with many wives to multiple households with one wife each, normally in different provinces or villages).

 

Sooooo... I'd be skeptical.  I want more data on if this is really practical or possible in a long-term relationship, and what the dangers and obstacles are (both socially and in terms of in-group interaction), because ironically, sex isn't something to fuck with.

Wonderful response!
I suppose the best we could hope for as a commune would just be an environment of tolerance for any type of relationship between consenting adults.
And you are correct. Things become way more complex when there is offspring involved.
So no minors in full time residence? No children at all? No kids, but teenagers are fine?
I mean I am just guessing there would be a screening or application process?

I'd be interested in a commune if it didn't revolve around sex...  >_>

 

So let's start a commune.

LETS!

We are going to need a bigger house....maybe an island somewhere. I'm cool with that... as long as it has internet access.

Sure, though an apartment complex with a community hall, pool, gym - would be a more practical idea, unless we have a billionaire here.

Who's with me?

I am, at least for a couple of years. Don't think I can live longer than that in a commune.

What are your ideas on polygamy?

I'm okay with polyamory, as long as its consensual & couples have the option to become exclusive if they want. I'd prefer to be in an exclusive relationship.

What's your ideal "Lifestyle"

Don't know. Depends on my mood

What would you like or dislike about it?

About living in a commune? Like - having like minded people close by. Dislike - i'm a very private person & will get cranky if my space is trampled on.

How would you divide up the jobs?

I can cook and do stuff around the house.

What rules would you set in place to keep the peace?

Give everyone their personal space.

 

So who's rich enough to buy an island or an apartment complex here?

If you decide on building a commune (Well, I'd just prefer a close-knit community) in Vancouver, I'm in. Sure, it's on the other side of the continent, in another country, but I'm already flirting with the idea of moving there. That or Israel, which shockingly has an increasingly agnostic/atheist population. Let's start a kibbutz!
Hey all atheist commune folks!
I'm going to remove these discussions and put them all in the Commune Group here:
http://www.thinkatheist.com/group/manifestdestiny
You should join!

I don't believe in marriage. I think all of our sexual relationships should be open, and marriage has this fidelity clause built in. In spite of this, I got married and have been faithful. I don't believe in "fooling around" either. sex should be open and honest. polygamy is an even worse idea than monogamy. I believe we can care about and love more than one person, but marriage is a lie. I picture it like this: in a commune everything belongs to the commune (don't know how "personal" items would work) so in case of separation the commune gets everything therefore there is no need for a marriage.

While I have always been handy around the house, cooking (not great) cleaning and picking up after myself and others, washing, shopping, yard work, and more, I am suffering several medical conditions. I cannot promise how effective I would be.

Dividing up jobs would be the hardest. assuming one or more have no paying job, what kind of worth do you assign to their efforts? Other places I have looked at briefly seem to base it on a 40 hour week, but what about work quality?

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