I'm an atheist. I feel lonely.

I have a girlfriend of just over a year, who I thought was also of my views. But she was not who I thought she was. She is a Jehovah's Witness and she hid that from me for a year. I tried proselytizing her but she just refuses everything I tell her. I feel betrayed.

I feel life is meaningless now. She is honestly the only thing that motivates me in school and in my work.

She loves me for what I am, but I still feel betrayed. I thought I had an ally with me, but she's just another gullible person. I love her too much to leave her, and I want to proselytize her. I can't stand the fact that my love is being brainwashed and deluded - it's hurting me too much, and I want to help her.

Please help me, I'm feeling so helpless.

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No, we were simply on different paths.

Creamy vs crunchy is a dealbreaker.

Seriously a dealbreaker

I'm engaged to a girl who used to be a very religious Seventh Day Adventist. We didn't have to talk each other into our own belief systems, but in time our shared experiences has brought us both to my side and now she's mostly agnostic.

If you love her as much as you say you do, religion shouldn't hinder you. You either lightly guide her through and let her make her own way, or accept her as she is. You definitely cannot force her to just let go of her beliefs. A drastic change like this could be life altering and shouldn't be taken lightly. It must come from within her. You could let her see how your beliefs make you or your life better, and let her decide on her own to join you.

If she doesn't and you couldn't live with that. Just let her go. As they've said, this is the only life we have, and our time is limited. We shouldn't waste ours and other people's time on things that would not make us happy or better.

Also, I think it is unhealthy to put your life's motivation and direction on another person. Motivation should be intrinsic and rooted within your own desire to better yourself.

Best of luck to you, and her.

You are right, religion should not hinder me.. I will try, in the subtlest way possible, to let her see my life, which is absent of beliefs (theist beliefs, at least). I'm not quite sure how I'll do it, but I'll try to find a way.

Best of luck for you and your fiancé!


You're seventeen. Back off on getting too serious, too soon! You will have many relationships during your lifetime and you will have to decide what to base those relationships upon. If you're present partner makes you feel good about yourself and you receive a comfort being with them then lower your expectations and just let things develop without trying to mold the other individual into what you want them to be. As times goes by you'll both come to a realization that the next "fork in the road" may require each of you to take a different path. Peace.


@Andrew - Some people have forgotten what it was like at seventeen - and one's first love, hormones racing. I went weak at the knees, but that is another story - you were and possibly are in a lovely place - for me, the fact is that she didn't tell you - she thought so much of you, she couldn't, and you know how much control JW parents can have over children. She just may be seeing the light. The fact she has stayed with yor for a year, keeping her secret, she can't be too brainwashed. So there is hope. Just relax -

You probably also make her go weak at the knees - Don't try and change her, you won't, not at this stage at least. She is seeing you for what you are, an intelligent, productive Atheist. She knew you were an Atheist, and would have been scared to tell you. And remember, she will be controlled by her parents - not her fault, BUT it is the parents that can stymy your first love. At this stage I would not be talking about religion or Atheism, just enjoy your relationship, I feel sorry for her being in the place where she is, where the blokes of JW are just dead set boring :) No contest :)

If she's that gullible then it should be just as easy to convert her.

You DO realize, Big Y, that that risks alienating her from her family and her entire community - how good could that be for an insecure, 17-year old girl, just trying to finish high school?

It would be excellent to be honest. Imagine this..no more sore knees from praying.

Besides who said she can't make new friends, and dare I say better friends!

If it were any of his business. Wanting to be with someone does NOT justify meddling in their lives. We resent the evangelism of Christians so let's not be evangelical atheists.


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