It's not really about religion and I don't know what advice anyone could give, but I just need to talk about something regarding my family and I don't have anyone to talk to right now. I am 30 and still living at home until May when hopefully I can move out. Thankfully we don't talk about religion so I can keep my atheism a secret from them for now, but it's still not a happy living situation for me. My mother is the kind of person who gets angry at anything and tends to blame others for her unhappiness. My 20 year old sister steals any alcohol she can find in the house and had been known to go through our things to find some. I am tired of the excuses and the lying and the pretending to want help. I cannot help someone who doesn't truly want it. Right now I am trying to survive until spring. I have a new job and I'm trying to save up money. One day I hope I don't have to hide my self (or my stuff). Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. I just need to feel like I'm not alone for a little while.

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How are ya doing since you posted this blog? It seems it was sucked into the blog abyss! I think Annapolis is a little dry as far as atheism goes; I keep looking and finding nothing. There was a group that met at the Unitarian church here, but I never had the opportunity to check it out. My family lives in Texas, but I'd feel similar to you if I did live near them. I don't have the drama here, but I still have no one to talk to about stuff that does NOT involve religion. I mean, no one is cramming it down my throat, but it's safe to assume most are at least "spiritual" and uncomfortable speaking in a way that implies there's no higher power. It's hard to have a real conversation with someone, and get practical advise, when they want to tell you to pray about it or go to a psychic or something!

Oh well. I hope things have gotten easier for you!
I worked with a few non religious people when I worked at the Borders hereI would say let's meet up sometime but things are worse at home... My sister is out of control. We called the cops to get her admitted for treatment, but they released her after a few hours. I am scared to be here but cannot leave my parents to deal with this alone...
I'm so sorry to hear things have gotten worse. Can you put a lock on your door? Maybe your sister needs to spend a few nights in a shelter? You should feel safe in your own home! Please stay safe and keep in mind you are not responsible for your sister or your parents.

"My mother is the kind of person who gets angry at anything and tends to blame others for her unhappiness. My 20 year old sister steals any alcohol she can find in the house and had been known to go through our things to find some."

Are these things linked? 

"I cannot help someone who doesn't truly want it."

That's true.  Maybe if you didn't try and help her so much, she would help herself.  Another thing is, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.  Perhaps the best way to help her is to help yourself.  That's when I've been helped the most in life - when other people get their shit together, and either it inspires me or directly helps me.  It sounds like she could do with a good example of how to behave.  Somebody who gets angry at anything and tends to blame others for their unhappiness is not centered or acting like a star or being responsible for themselves. 

Oh yeah.  Bully, too. 

"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you."  (Ovid)

Throwing ideas out to you here.  Have you seen this

No, but that does seem to fit very well. I finally moved out recently, which I am everyday grateful for. I only wish my parents did not have to continue to deal with the drama my sister causes, but I can understand they don't want to give up on her. Perhaps as she gets older, she will come to understand how much they have done for her. 

As for me, small doses of my mother's negativity are more bearable knowing I can go home to my quiet apartment.

Work keeps me busy - but I am glad to have a job, so no complaints there. I know that I would never want to move back home. 

Maybe now I can meet up with fellow non-believers in the Baltimore area. :)




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