I've had a personal 'spiritual' experience that really bothers me. I am an atheist and have been for quite a while. Yet this experience still bothers me and I really need to share this with folks that have the ability to, perhaps, set my mind at ease. I have only shared this experience with family. They are convinced it was about God 'coming through' and saving my sorry butt.
In fall of '03 I was driving an 18-wheeler through Utah, backside- Highway 6 from Green River to Price. This is a 2 lane highway. It was an awesome morning, maybe 6:30. Good light. I was driving across a valley that had these cool fog pods... like mushroom shaped coherent clouds, say a thousand yards across. I had driven through a few and they were dense, with a very discernible wall when you approached them. I was, perhaps 300 yards from another one and--- a very clear voice said: " get off the road NOW"-- almost a shout. I was so startled that I panic stopped... brakes, gears, and Jake-brakes. When I got slow, I got the entire truck off the pavement. I wasn't even at a full-stop and was very close to the 'wall' of fog- when 2 trucks came out of the fog wall. One truck was passing the other. Needless to say, it would have been a spectacular head-on.
I think I just sat there for a while. I don't really remember anymore.. I do remember that I was stuck on that shoulder for a while locking axles and whatever to get back on the pavement. I finally got to Price and delivered. Odd as it seems, it was like PTSD and I rapidly "forgot" about it. Like my mind could not digest this and just stored it away. I quit driving trucks a few months later.
Over these last 8 years I often think about this event as it could apply to the question -- "If not God then what -or- who ??"
Was I psychic ?? Did I subliminally hear their air horns, as I probably had Pink Floyd cranked on the stereo ? Who was the voice ?? It didn't sound like me or anyone I know. Yet it sure seemed real enough to me. I was NOT doing drugs as my company drug tested often as do some DOT stations (when you have long hair). I was well slept, at Green River. This is, by far, the only "miraculous" thing that has ever happened to me. I mean, I've had some pleasent 'coincidences' happen, but NOTHING with a 'voice'. That was way over the top. Heck my hands are shaking trying to type this.
Anyone got any helpful ideas on this ?? I can go to my grave never knowing or even having a clue, but, scientifically-- I want answers. I think I deserve to know. But.... who can tell me ? This is one of those things I'd love to run by the Dalai Lama... LOL.
Well, your first line sums up exactly why this 'event' bothers me. I don't believe 'God' had anything to do with it and I surely don't think I'm 'special' as I've not always been a 'good' person. I have tried for years to understand this. Yes, it happened. I was very hesitant to share this as it does seem fabricated, even to me.. and I was there. I have tried and tried to comprehend it and am just plain lost.
Yet the best anyone I've told this to can come up with is a "God miracle" and I just can't buy that...
Do you mean to say that specifically the Judeo-Christian deity saved you? How do you specifically come to THAT conclusion?
I especially like #2
I am digesting this now, more as a psychological burp in interpretation than what I "seem to remember" .
Am seriously considering a hypnotist to try to see if this can be re-lived and sorted out. I have bad dreams about this. That's the main reason I'm looking for some interpretive help here.
I no longer drive... at all... no license and no interest in driving anymore. Yeah, I'm even scared riding in a car these days. I am OK with a bus, though... hmmmm...
Thanks.. good thinking points
You could have been uneasy with the low fog, knowing subconsciously what could happen. If you are a trucker and have traveled that area before, then somewhere in your mind, you knew the things that could happen. Your anxiety could have built to the point where your subconscious screamed at you to listen. In the aftermath, you attributed it to a "voice" and without any other explanation, named that voice god. That's the best I can do with what you gave us.
I notice you capitalize "god" which I find many non believers don't do. Are you a believer now that this "miracle" happened to you? Have you gone on to do wonderful things with the life you spared? Would you have a explanation why you would be saved by god, while millions of others are let to die? For what purpose could it have been?
I believe in random things just happening and afterwards, we simply want an explanation. We like things tied up in a nice little package, but it doesn't work that way. Sometimes things happen and there is just no good explanation.
Thank you very much.
Yes, of course a professional driver is cautious about fog. I sure as heck was. It makes sense that I could have just have some serious apprehension about the density of the fog and decided to get off the road... and the two trucks whizzing by was purely coincidental. Then my mind interpreted it as something else. Hmmm.. interesting.
I am in no way thinking I was gifted with a miracle. But the event did imprint in a way that really got me worried and still does. If anything I feel guilt. I have done bad things and have no idea why some 'god' would want to save me. No -my life did not get better; not at all. Been homeless and quite ill many times in these last 8 years.
I use the convention of capitalizing 'God' just to be specific that I am referring to the Judeo-Christian model. Otherwise I generally don't capitalize. Sorry if that offends anyone.
You have given me some some thinking points and I appreciate it very much.
It totally didn't offend me. I was just curious, that's all. Good luck in your thinking :-)
I tend to agree with what has been said already. I too have had similar things (though not quite as strong as this) happen to me in the past, and just because it can't be explained does not mean it does not have an explanation. Our brains work in weird ways, just look at de ja vu! I don't believe in spirits or ghost etc.... it hasn't stopped me thinking I have seen them.
LOL... thanks. I'm smiling about the deja vu part. I get that a few times a year over something. I always enjoy it. I like the little hairs on my neck going nuts and the goose bumps.
I guess I'll take this to a doctor. I have a need to be able to drive again, even though I'm scared as heck, but I'm moving a few thousand miles away and have to drive it as it will be a small truck with all my stuff. As of now, I'm a tad too scared. Haven't driven any vehicle in over 3 years. The nightmares don't stop.
Thanks for your time
Why does this scare you? If anything it should make you more confident as a safe, cautious driver.
I think your subconscious gathered some "vague" details of what was going on, this probably happened in a matter of seconds, the voice you heard was a result of the analysis your brain did subconsciously as an attempt for your self preservation.
This happens to many people, a voice tells them not to do something or to do it and then they are saved, the human brain is very sophisticated when it comes to be alert of possible dangers. All drivers are extra cautious while going into fog, your senses sharpen (such as sight). It was so fast you didn't process it consciously. It was automatic.
Makes terrific sense.
I'm sure the event timing is very relevant and, yes, thing do happen fast out there. That wasn't even close to being the only dangerous event I was involved in, but by far the weirdest. I've put well over a million miles on the road. Seen everything. Yes, seen folks killed. Seen tornadoes so close the truck was trying to twist around. Yeah, it's fast and furious.
It's just that darn "voice" that gets me, still. The rest of it... just a normal drive in Utah.
Guess I just got some little knot in my memory that just won't go away.
It's an awesome experience, I wouldn't forget it either. It goes to show why humans evolve into such incredible beings, the fact you are alive today means you had ancestors who went thru all type of hardships to preserve themselves under extreme circumstances and even if now a days we don't face many of those we are still wired to survive.