George Carlin has this covered perfectly. Watch the video:
I've actually thought about this a lot, growing up as a gay atheist in the Bible belt. And I made sure to write them as if I intended to live by them, and be survived by them by several hundred years. I wanted to make sure that if some Judge wanted to put them up in his courtroom, then there could be no room for argument. Fairness is the goal here, making sure that even if you're not entirely happy with them, then you really can't find anything to argue about either.
I'd love to hear what you think.
My ten-ish commandments.
1. Don’t be a hypocrite. You will be the first to be measured by your own standard. Do not make it so that not even you can measure up.
2. Death is not a punishment. Death is Vengeance, and has no place in a justice system.
3. The world does NOT belong to you, it belongs to the people who come after you. Try to leave it in a better condition than you found it.
4. Honor the old, embolden the young, and enlighten both. No matter your age, you should never not be learning something.
5. You are not better than anybody, and you don’t deserve any rights that someone else doesn’t have. Treat people better than you would treat yourself.
6. Honor is more important than life. Honor lives on in memories after life ends.
7. Always strive to do no harm or through inaction allow harm to come to others.
8. You are not alone. 7 billion people have your back. Try to have theirs also.
9. The sex-life of others is none of your business, So long as it is consensual.
I did say ten-ish. These are the ones I came up with on my own, but I would add some from other lists.
Test all things; always check your ideas against the facts, and be ready to discard even a cherished belief if it does not conform to them.
Never seek to censor or cut yourself off from dissent; always respect the right of others to disagree with you.
Do not condemn people on the basis of their ethnicity or their color.
Do not ever even think of using people as private property.
Hide your face and weep if you dare to harm a child.
Be aware that you, too, are an animal, and dependent on the web of nature. Try to think and act accordingly.
Do not lie.
Abide faithfully by any promises or agreements that you make.
Don't be a dick.
Protect people and nations with fair laws and just courts.
Avoid petty laws and useless officials.
Balance personal rights with social duties.
Flying Spaghetti Monster... Stupid as it may be, there are some good ideas:
I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go Eff Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off The TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change.
I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses Alot Of Leather/Lubrication/Las Vegas. If The Other Person Is Into It However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear A CONDOM! Honestly It’s A Piece Of Rubber, If I Didn’t Want It To Feel Good When You Did It I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.