How to have an atheist wedding?

I just got home from my dad's wedding. It wasn't fancy, cause my dad and now step-mom don't have much money. It was small, there was food and music. In fact she didn't wear a dress. But everyone was still very pretty! the colors were lavender and white.

 

But it was in a church and God and Jesus were the main focus, etc etc.

 

So I've been thinking about my wedding. I know I want to get married before I'm 30. I also know I want absolutely no religion involved.

 

I already have my colors picked out, my dress (which will not be white), I know where I want it to be and my flowers and etc etc.

 

But how do you have a wedding with no religion involved, if religion kind of is the point of a wedding?

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Permalink Reply by V John Merc on February 26, 2011 at 6:25pm

Here's a website that has a great idea for Atheist weddings: http://www.ehow.com/how_2090411_plan-atheist-wedding.html

 

Sometimes though, there are atheists who get married to people who belong to a religion, but irreligious.  That means, their worldview and thinking is atheistic/agnostic, but they decided to keep their religious affiliation for the sake of loyalty to the clan and tradition, so there will be times atheist must engage in a religious wedding.  An atheist just has to not mind the nonsensical religious words sputtered by the priest, and just enjoy your union without caring about the religious aspect.  In any case, I don't see atheists bursting into flames when going inside a religious church.

Permalink Reply by Kerry C. Michael on February 26, 2011 at 6:31pm

Religion isn't the point of a wedding. The point of a wedding is to declare a lifelong commitment to a partner in front of your family and friends. (And also to sign the paper for the legal privileges, if you are so able.)

 

Both my mother and I had non-religious weddings (nb: I am divorced now; she and my stepdad are still going strong 15 years later.)  Mom got married at a wine garden; I got married at an old historic building on my college campus. Our officiants were members of the Universal Life Church - you can get ordained on the internet. =) (As a matter of fact, I am going to officiate my friends' secular wedding in October.)

 

The important part, though: We wrote our vows to state what WE thought was important in our marriages. We didn't need to pray to any god for assistance or approval, we didn't have to promise to have children... we wrote vows that meant something.

 

 

Permalink Reply by M on February 26, 2011 at 6:48pm
The Pope wants you to think that religion is the only point of marriage.  Since he's not the boss of you, I say have cake!  :o)  And have your wedding however you want your wedding.  Weddings are to join two people together who love each other and can have any meaning you want.  Early congratulations!
Permalink Reply by Jaume on February 26, 2011 at 6:50pm
Have either the groom, his best man or the celebrant don a gorilla suit, and exchange fine Chinese teapots instead of rings.
Permalink Reply by Heather Spoonheim on February 27, 2011 at 12:06am
I actually don't subscribe to marriage, as I see it as a religious ceremony and nothing more. If I were to consider making a public declaration of my devotion to another human being, I think I would rather read a prepared essay as to why I thought we should be together for the unforeseeable future rather than just bet how much horrible suffering I was willing to endure before I gave them the boot.

At least with the essay approach I would be able to specify what it was about them that inclined me to make the commitment. In this way, I feel that suing for divorce would be much simplified because I could point out the ways in which they no longer met the criteria of my selection. Alternatively, if they still met the criteria of my original selection, then I would be forced to consider how my own views had changed over the years.
Permalink Reply by Ronald on February 27, 2011 at 1:14am
Nice... I think you just started a new trend.  *Saves the info for future use
Permalink Reply by Arcus on February 27, 2011 at 5:40am

Nicely said.

It's a social construct filled with artificial symbolism as a substitute for original thought. If you truly love someone, the exchange of metals, minerals, and plants are not the foundation and should not alter the relationship.

Permalink Reply by Ashley Ghilardi on March 15, 2011 at 6:52pm

I agree. I have been with my bf/significant other/life partner for nearly 6 years and there is no marriage in our future. Not only is religion a factor in this but also the government. No one but us should be able to declare our love valid. We don't need a ceremony, costumes, etc to make sure our relationship is at that point. We are what we are. Just because we aren't married doesn't mean we aren't exactly like a husband and wife. I think we are more than that.

 

It's going to get interesting when we have kids because I do have a side of the family who are very conservative christian-like and they will not be happy campers. Too bad for them!

 

I respect others decisions to have a wedding, though. I have a close friend who is not religious and is having her wedding in a garden setting.

 

Permalink Reply by Andrea on February 27, 2011 at 10:59am
that is awesome
Permalink Reply by Andrea on February 27, 2011 at 10:58am
I had an atheist wedding. It's quite easy to do. No mention of anything religious, our readings were poems and an excerpt B Russell's "Marriage and Morals," and we had ethical humanist vows.
Permalink Reply by Jewelz on February 27, 2011 at 12:45pm

My sister is currently planning an atheist wedding. She's already informed my Mormon family that no references to God are allowed. Her best friend is marrying them (got ordained on the internets) it's being held in a hall instead of a church, and it's going to be very non-traditional.

 

The only religious things I tend to notice at weddings are the church, minister, and God references in the vows. Receptions usually consist of drinking, eating, and dancing so it's really not hard to remove God from a wedding, particularly if it's not held in a church.

Permalink Reply by Troy Davis on February 27, 2011 at 1:36pm
"if religion kind of is the point of a wedding?" It might have started out as such but now the government stepped in, and when that happens, 'they' govern.

From taxes, to stigma. I suggest do as we did. Fly to Vegas, stay at the Wynn and have your wedding there. Invite a few close atheist friends, and enjoy the time that should be enjoyed without the weight of religion hanging over your head.

Good luck!

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