Sociopaths can be incredibly charming. Having no real empathy or any other emotional connection with people, they put all their energy into learning how to manipulate people. And since they have no scruples, they do it with impunity. Don't beat yourself up for getting sucked in, but do take care of yourself.
That almost certainly means staying the hell away from him.
Gotta pick your people well, you know? You're affected by the people with which you choose to surround yourself. How has surrounding yourself with this person affected you? Well, by the sounds of it, it hasn't worked out well for you, has it? So that is a thing that we will not be doing, yes? We would like to be in a better state, wouldn't we? Yes. So we will surround ourselves with better people. This person is troubled and does not sound very intelligent (turns to gods in times of trouble it does). We do not want to be troubled, and we are intelligent. Brains are powerful things, easily cut and molded by outside things. We must choose those things carefully. We will not allow the strong outside things that we do not want to affect us to do so. We will cast them out and wish them the best. We will choose which inside-creating outside things will be allowed in ourselves. We have the power to do this. We need only to exercise it, again and again and again, until we become very good exercisers of the power to shape our reality.
But where I grew up no one ever told me it was rape. His parents didn't want him around me when I was young, so we always were together in secret. After I turned 18 they never said anything more about age...if it was rape then why did no one intervene? Culturally it was not out of the norm. When I think about it really hard, I remember his parents saying I couldn't come around and I thought it was my fault. I remember one day his older brother saw us together and he stared long and hard at him and he told him he couldn't see me. I think maybe his family was concerned. But I didn't understand it at the time. I have lately been remembering fragments of it all. I always thought there was something wrong with me.
Teenage pregnancy is very high in NM. It is not uncommon for the father to be much older. I don't know why it makes a difference but it does. Only about 2 years ago is the first time anyone has ever told me that he raped me. It is really confusing.
I lived for 1/2 year in the Lake Tahoe area and took public transportation everywhere, so I saw the underside of the area which consists largely of people of Mexican extraction. I was appalled to realize that it almost seemed like girls 14 yrs on up felt it was their duty to get pregnant. Of course, I wasn't thinking about statutory rape at the time, maybe because they clearly enjoyed being mothers so much.
BTW, what possessed a man to admit he raped you. And it almost sounds like you didn't know it had happened. What's the story? Were you unconscious at the time?
You haven't said as much, but it's sounding like a statutory (underage person) rape.