How could i raise a child secular when my girlfriend wants him/her to be religious?

My girlfriend and i are planning getting married some time in the future, she consider herself christian while i'm a open atheist, but not vocal about it. Obviously, how we'll raise our children has been a topic of discussion; while we agree on the most part, she wants him/her to be a christian from day 1 while i want him/her to decide for him/her self when the time is right be it any religion or none at all.

I'm the only non-religious and anti-religious from both sides of the family, i sometimes think there will be a war over my children's mind and i don't want them to live through that or see their family waging over fables.

What would be the best course of action?

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All of the information you are getting from this site is good, but will mostly be quite useless to you. Only you and your mate can know what your directions and resources willbe.

Two things: If you teach your children the easy skill of skepticism, all manner of mental flotsam can and will be sorted by them into believable piles and unbelievable piles. This includes not just religious thought, but all of the pitfalls that await the naive.

Second, if the two of you agree to keep them away from their religious peers, be prepared to fill their lives with other connections to fill their need for belongingness. If you do not fill it, they will find a way to fill it on their own from whatever sources they have available

That's a good idea! Do you know any books or articles to introduce kids to skepticism through games that you could recommend me?

Just an question regarding your wife to be & the country you are in. Is there any agreement that states that the mother has the last word on the child's religious status? This is the case in some european countries as far as im aware. 

Where I am, this is the case, but as my wife is an atheist, its fine. But if she was religious, I would have have no choice (although I would fight it) if she wanted to have our child baptised.

No, there isn't any law regarding religious affiliation. My country has always been a homogeneously catholic until recently and now is 90+%. You can change churches without the government asking why. The religious status wasn't even asked in the census; which i'm really happy about, i want to see their faces when they finally ask and see that atheism have appear and rise under just below their nose.

In conclusion, there isn't any issue with that.

Find another girlfriend.

Someone was bound to say it. 

Thank you so much for your support.

Get a new girlfriend.


If this one is THE ONE.


Get your nuts cut now. No sense dragin' children thru a divorce.


Ask her why she wants her child to be raised on principles based on violence and hate. 

I believe if you are truly in love, then you guys can come to some sort of compromise. I say let your children go to church, be exposed, reading the bible/quran is the best way to become an Atheist. Talk to them, let them know about your views too, install the idea in their head to be a skeptic in life. Not to believe everything one hears and sees without proper logical conclusion. In the end if they choose whatever belief, then as an adult that is their right. 

I rather live in a secular society where everyone has their own beliefs and disbelief and get along together well than a state atheism society where we are all atheists. That doesn't really work 

Well said Adam. 

The issue here is how to raise a child, & the B&W responses seem to come from those who don't have children. The plot has slightly gone off the rails.


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