Hi, welcome to hell, a message you people should probably get used to hearing.
oh and just one more thing...you people may claim that you're right persisting in your atheist beliefs, but i have news for you, did you ever prepare for the chance if you are wrong.....it will be an ugly hot day in hell for each one of you. enjoy your little cup of coffee, they don't serve drinks in hell.
If Heaven is real, then what will you do there?
(This is a light-hearted look at the proposed sacrifices one makes as a Christian, not to be taken seriously)
You won’t have anyone to proselytize to or look down on.
Is sex permitted in Heaven? Sex is a mortal pleasure, not to be enjoyed by floating spirits.
Where will you drive your car?
You’ll lose some of your cell phone friends. No need to text either.
No drinking buddies or bartenders.
Lousy comedy acts.
Lousy music. Do you want to hear “Amazing Grace” for millions of years? No hard rock or rap.
No strippers. That means no pole or lap dances.
No shellfish. That means no lobster or crab.
No inheritance money.
No pets. Your dog or cat gets left behind with the non-believers and other sinners.
No Seinfeld, Sex and the City, House or other syndicated shows. No television.
No science projects or scientific research. Most scientists will remain on Earth.
No radio to listen to.
No contact sports like boxing or ultimate fighting matches.
No overeating. Gluttony is not allowed. No Sunday buffets for the church folks!
Christians are sure going to have a hard time adjusting! What will you do?
A belief system that attempts to coerce you to believe with threats of eternal torture is morally bankrupt, my friend. Threats and intimidation are the way a group like the mafia gets people to do what they want--only they don't torture forever. So it appears your god is more ruthless than the mafia.
And if hell exists, I'd imagine they might well serve drinks. They'd just taste like hell.
Hey, wait. This implies there will be a welcoming committee in hell. That's a really nice touch.
"Hi, welcome to hell."
"My name's Satan. If you have any questions, just look for me or anyone else wearing a name tag."
"I appreciate that, Satan. My name's Morgan. Actually, I do have a question. I could really go for a coffee. Could you get one for me?"
"Well, no. I don't serve drinks down here - I'm an angel, not a waiter. But, seriously, the coffee maker is in the back room, and help yourself to whatever you find in the fridge."
"That sounds great. Nice to meet you, Satan."
"Sure thing, Morgan. See you around."
What you don't get there kiddo is that HELL is where all the COOL people will be! It's like riding in the back of the bus in high school. That IS of course, if such an imaginary place even existed. Which it doesn't.
Learn some theology son. Every reference to a place (Gehena, etc) that was called Hell in the Bible was an actual, physical place in the middle east. The only condemning Fire in that bit of make believe you put so much stock in is the Lake of Fire behind the Throne of God.