Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by SparkleyFlowers on April 28, 2009 at 4:05am

You're thinking, "This coffee isn't warm anymore."

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Permalink Reply by Matthew on May 16, 2009 at 3:49pm

If Heaven is real, then what will you do there?
(This is a light-hearted look at the proposed sacrifices one makes as a Christian, not to be taken seriously)

You won’t have anyone to proselytize to or look down on.
Is sex permitted in Heaven? Sex is a mortal pleasure, not to be enjoyed by floating spirits.
Where will you drive your car?
You’ll lose some of your cell phone friends. No need to text either.
No drinking buddies or bartenders.
No smoking.
No cursing.
Lousy comedy acts.
Lousy music. Do you want to hear “Amazing Grace” for millions of years? No hard rock or rap.
No strippers. That means no pole or lap dances.
No weed.
No pork.
No shellfish. That means no lobster or crab.
No betting.
No inheritance money.
No pets. Your dog or cat gets left behind with the non-believers and other sinners.
No Seinfeld, Sex and the City, House or other syndicated shows. No television.
No science projects or scientific research. Most scientists will remain on Earth.
No radio to listen to.
No contact sports like boxing or ultimate fighting matches.
No overeating. Gluttony is not allowed. No Sunday buffets for the church folks!
Christians are sure going to have a hard time adjusting! What will you do?

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Permalink Reply by Matthew on May 16, 2009 at 3:52pm

Ill bring the Ice Cream to hell. "What will YOU do for a Klondike Bar?" :D

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Permalink Reply by Frink on May 24, 2009 at 3:15pm

Ah yes, the sadistic Christian strikes again.

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Permalink Reply by DjinnDjinn on June 3, 2009 at 1:45am

A belief system that attempts to coerce you to believe with threats of eternal torture is morally bankrupt, my friend. Threats and intimidation are the way a group like the mafia gets people to do what they want--only they don't torture forever. So it appears your god is more ruthless than the mafia.

And if hell exists, I'd imagine they might well serve drinks. They'd just taste like hell.

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Permalink Reply by Laura on June 3, 2009 at 4:07pm

Hey, wait. This implies there will be a welcoming committee in hell. That's a really nice touch.

"Hi, welcome to hell."
"Hi, thanks."
"My name's Satan. If you have any questions, just look for me or anyone else wearing a name tag."
"I appreciate that, Satan. My name's Morgan. Actually, I do have a question. I could really go for a coffee. Could you get one for me?"
"Well, no. I don't serve drinks down here - I'm an angel, not a waiter. But, seriously, the coffee maker is in the back room, and help yourself to whatever you find in the fridge."
"That sounds great. Nice to meet you, Satan."
"Sure thing, Morgan. See you around."

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Permalink Reply by Nelson on June 3, 2009 at 4:32pm

hang on? there's only coffee in hell? no open bar or at least a keg??? screw that! i'm converting to religion! :) i can't spend eternity without a beer or a cocktail!

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Permalink Reply by Laura on June 3, 2009 at 4:43pm

I'm sure there's beer in the fridge.

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Permalink Reply by Nelson on June 3, 2009 at 4:53pm

whew! alright. dodged a bullet there. looks like you atheists can continue to count me among your numbers after all then. lol.

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Permalink Reply by Jin-oh Choi on June 3, 2009 at 6:31pm

What about Scotch Whisky, as I can't be without that.

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Permalink Reply by Nelson on June 3, 2009 at 6:35pm

maybe we can get good ole Beelzebub to make a run to the store for us? :)

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Permalink Reply by Skycomet the Fallen Angel on June 3, 2009 at 6:24pm

Oh... and I'm sure you know EXACTLY what Hell is like... therefore... you must be there already!!

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