I'm wondering something...

So for those of you who have previously believed (I mean really believed) in God, how long does the guilt last after you no longer do? You know what I mean right? That guilt feeling that the decisions you are making are suddenly "against God's will..."

I have an example in my own life that I'm willing to share as a jumping off point but don't let this derail the thread into something else...I want to know about "GUILT" specifically...there are TONS of other examples but this one is perhaps the one that's driving me nuts the most...

My example: I got a divorce. I left my marriage that was already broken. I'm moving on with my life...

I have a lot of internal thoughts about things like, "God hates divorce..." or "If he decides he wants to reconcile it is God's will to do so." or "marriage is a commitment before God."

These guilty feelings have not prevented me from starting a new life. I am attending a support group, and I'm taking really really good care of myself for a change instead of catering to the needs of a person who does not respect me. Now that he sees how well I'm doing by myself I can see that HIS abusive tactics are changing and he's trying to reel me in to go back to him. I'm not stupid. If I were stupid enough to go back to his ass he would be "nice" for about a week until the next abusive go-around. So NO I'm not going back to my ex-husband. But I feel guilty because of the internal conflict that I've recently figured out goes back to my former views on marriage, commitment, and how the Bible says that if a spouse wants to reconcile you should do so...when research clearly indicates that an abusive person doesn't change overnight if ever at all unless there is professional and intense intervention. So I'm choosing between the research, vs. the Bible...the research wins. But my guilty conscience is driving me fucking NUTS!!! Those crazy voices inside my head are not going away and I want it to just STOP already!! It's frustrating!!!!! Not to mention confusing.

I think I'm doing everything right to be able to move on. My heart has moved on and I am no longer the same person I was when I was married to him. But the guilt I have towards "God" for becoming a divorcee is driving me fucking crazy. 

When does it get better? How long? 

Make it stop please!!!! I wish somebody could.

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I'm not offended by his perspective and I understand the point of view from which he is speaking. He's offering his point of view. That's all. I am frankly pleased that Professor Robert is opening up more to our community and I don't wish to make him feel unwelcome however different his perspective may be. I am able to distinguish those parts of his reply I can identify with and other parts which I may not agree with. I think we would all stand to learn from him rather than constantly ridicule him. He is after all one of the few theists who is active in our community and we should not take for granted the fact that he here among those who share a different perspective. We may not understand why, but we don't need to know why. We can accept him for who he is. That can be a good thing.

He certainly can take being roughed around.  I think he's pretty tough actually   :-/

Simon, you think the professor is pretty tough?

He and I both know what a Catholic education can do.

Try "well defended". Or "obdurate".

Hi, Professor. I didn't gently set Catholicism aside.

I like Professor Robert.

Thank you, @Belle.  The hope of any of us is that those to whom we speak have the kindness to separate the wheat from the chaff, and take those pieces which they find valuable while gently setting aside the rest.

For me, I still had the occasional flash of guilt/fear for a few years after I realized that I just didn't believe in gods any more. They started out as occasional events, becoming more infrequent as time passed, until eventually they simply disappeared altogether.

I suspect that the duration and frequency varies with how intense of a grip one's former religion had on your thoughts and emotions. Mine was fairly mild, as cases of religion go, a deeply fundamental version might linger for much longer.


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