God's Post on Think Atheist
God I'm giving you a thread on Think Atheist ... I have a few questions that me and my friends would like answered ... like what you'd like us to do and why ... or how it all came into being ... await your response
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by God on -
If you cut your foreskin that I, God, gave you, bath in my holy water and follow the Terms of Use that were written in My word, then all your sin will be forgiven.
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Permalink Reply by Kris Feenstra on -
Not if you're going to take that tone. What, you can create an entire universe, but you can't manage some basic manners?
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Permalink Reply by God on
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I created you! Manners are meaningless. When did you behave politely to your book or computer?
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Permalink Reply by Kris Feenstra on
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If I fail to observe proper input methods when communicating with my computer, I get an undesirable result. It's all about knowing your audience, really. Maybe you are the real God after all.
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Permalink Reply by God on
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You are not considered My audience since you do not listen to My will. Only those who follow Me are worthy of My love.
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Permalink Reply by Kris Feenstra on
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If I am not your audience in this thread, then I suppose you aren't talking to me right now. I feel that's a reasonable exemption from having to listen... or an awkward paradox.
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Permalink Reply by God on
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I am God. When you are God, paradoxes are acceptable! Only if I want them to be. I am omnipotent. I can do anything. I am God.
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Permalink Reply by Kris Feenstra on
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That seems like a sweet perk. Next election, I'm running for God.
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Permalink Reply by God on
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Render therefore unto Caesar the things which be Caesar's, and unto Me the things which be Mine's.
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Permalink Reply by God on
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Salads are My gift to those who are worthy. Those who do not worship me do not deserve Caesar salads all around, extra parmesan, roughly shaved. I created Caesar and Caesar salads. I am God.
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Permalink Reply by God on
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I created the earth and the sky. The one who believe in Me will never starve, 'cause I feed them My love.
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Permalink Reply by Matt Coulthurst on -
Last time I tried to 'feed someone my love' the result was a restraining order.
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