General Introductions: So, Why Are YOU Single?

Let's get personal...

* Still searching for your soul mate?

* Have you lost in love and still tending your wounds?

* Busy life and career, no time to date?

* Broke and lonely too?

* Afraid to get too close?

* Can't find an atheist mate?

* Too shy and introverted?

* Hate the bar scene, but don't know where to meet up with someone?

* 'Been there, done that',  just what a friend/companion?

* Enjoy 'playing the field' and don't want to settle down?

* I'm too stupid, ugly, and insensitive, so nobody likes me?

* Too picky?

* Don't know why I'm still single, I'm a great catch....

* Other....

It's time to introduce yourself. There is nothing wrong with being single, some of my best friends are, and are happily single at that. Just tell your story, we've all got one... Plus, you never know who you might meet right here on T/A for friendship or more?

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Replies to This Discussion

I'm sorry for your loss. Caring for an ill relative can be so taxing, and then to raise a child on top of that - you have great strength Sydni! I definitely believe in the power of fresh starts, so I'm hoping you find a lot of happiness as you embark on yours!
Thanks Kristen, that was awful sweet of you to say. None of us get through life without tragedy and hardship giving us a good kick in the ass. We just can't escape it. For now, the worst is over for me, but challenges always exist to test us throughout our lives. At least I finally feel strong enough to face whatever might fall my way... I hope - gulp.... Ya never know?
Ones that apply to me:
- still searching for my soulmate
- had lost in love and still tending my wounds
- broke and lonely too
- can't find an atheist mate
- other - I'm socially awkward.
Single. Not by choice. Ex-wife was a lesbian. Still searching, but kinda picky. I'm also worried I'm still hung up on my ex.
This is the main one: Hate the bar scene, but don't know where to meet up with someone?
I could never get serious with anyone who is a 'believer', and I would particularly never recommend it to anyone who still is considering having a family. Religious family members want to get involved, expecting that your child(ren) will be indoctrinated into the faith. Your 'not so religious partner' will want to please them, and many suddenly have a resurgence of their own faith and feel it necessary that your child have 'some' religious training in their life, mimicking their upbringing. Toxic stuff.

Zack, I shouldn't be playing match-maker, but my daughter fits your description of a suitable partner remarkably well. She'd love to skydive, is an atheist, not girly-girly, but still feminine and very pretty, AND of course extremely intelligent, just like her (and her Dad). Too bad we live on opposite coasts.... "But where there is a will, there is a way."
I am very introverted, but I'm not shy at all which may sound odd. The main reason I'm single is perception. People see me and think they know everything about me just by glancing at me. Even the people I talk to often don't know how I am in the slightest. I know thats my fault since i never really tell anyone anything with any substance to it. Other than that I'm not very picky at all nor do I care if they are atheist. One thing I don't want is someone just like me. True it would be nice to share similar beliefs, but wow how incredibly boring that would be. :|
"I'll date anyone who isn't an idiot. Which is the reason i am still single." - Foamy the Squirrel
Why am I still single?  Hmmm... too many reasons.  I am a single mother to 3, raising 4, and that right there turns people off.  Besides that, I am independent, self reliant, stubborn, and can be obnoxious.  I have high stress levels and low tolerance, and have been called high maintenance.  I am not generally attracted physically to people as pasty white as I am, but that isn't necessarily a disqualifier.  I refuse to date anyone who uses drugs, of any caliber, who has been to jail, or who is an uneducated asshole.  That disqualifies everyone I have met, sadly.  Age is kind of important to me.  I think I would like to date someone near my own age.  I have never dated younger, but have dated older by as much as 17 years.  I don't generally discriminate against religion, however it seems that a long term relationship with someone who really really believes the bible is factual and inerrant is doomed before it begins.  With all of the kids, plus going to school, plus keeping a clean house functional, and having no people around I trust to watch all my kids so I can go out for a night, who has time or energy??  Other than that, I'm a great catch!

Too picky? Maybe I'm just very unlucky..

I live in Central Kentucky..  The bible belt is a terrible place for Atheist dating.. but my most recent dating folly sounds like something out of a badly written movie..


The last "girl" I tried to date wouldn't date me because I was an atheist, she was a christian (pentecostal).. but she would have had sex with me the second time I met her.. After turning her down.. I found out she failed to mention her boyfriend at the time and the other guy that she was sleeping with on a regular basis who I found out about at a party.. (though i kinda guessed before hand)


But seriously though.. I'm an atheist.. I'm not an immoral sex fiend.. I actually want to make some sort of connection with another living person..

Because every guy I've met can't stand that my mouth talks more than my tits show.

Seriously, that's about what it is. I'm in a relationship of convenience right now, my biggest problem with him is just....he says little things, all the time, and feels the need to verbally berate the small things I do like the type of pen I choose to use(I'm a writer) or the fact that I hate driving, and when I do--I'm bad at it, of course, he's never offered to teach me or help me get better. He just complains all the time--but whatever, it's better than grocery shopping alone and having guys block the aisle and ask me "ARE YOU HAPPY?".

Any other guy has been similarly creepy, disgusting, perverted within the first 10 minutes of talking(seriously, wait at least until the 7th conversation to bring up your porn preferences, I don't mind talking about them, and I know you're excited to be talking to a girl....but...waiting won't kill you, I want to know you before the intimacy comes up), or perhaps the worst, downright stupid at turning me down when I show interest in getting to know him. I will often say "I want to talk to you more" to guys, and this isn't me going "OMG SEXYTIMES PLZ", this is me, being interested in him as a person. I don't really care about sex. It could never happen, for all I care, what I care about is how good at conversation he is, and how well we can talk with one another about various things. I've gotten replies to this with everything from "I can't answer that." to "You're too shallow for me." to "I'm seeing someone"(he wasn't) to "I'm not dating right now."(the next day he was, a 17-year-old).

It could also be gee, that every bully who's ever wanted to see me hang myself(if I could find a strong enough rope) was right, and I am just butt-ugly, like they said, and you know, deserve the creepers that come my way, which is what a lot of guys have ended up saying--that I'm too picky, that I'm being a bitch. Newsflash: I'm not, guys are. Yeah I'm fat but I've had plenty of larger dudes turn me down because they're waiting for Mrs. Jessica-Alba-Impersonator to land in their lap and start giving them a blowjob.

Yeah, I'm bitter--but I have every right to be with the track record I've got--I ask guys out, I take the first step, I make it easy, but you know what? I should look like Megan Fox as well. Personality and brains don't cut it in the singles market, somehow.


* Too picky?
* Too shy and introverted?
* Hate the bar scene, but don't know where to meet up with someone?

I'm only 17 so I havent really started dating yet.


Just an open question: Would you guys here recommend dating only other atheists? Does dating a theistic become problematic and when should you talk about your religious views or lack of?


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