Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Dave G on February 10, 2010 at 10:27am

Those that apply:
Too shy and introverted.
Hate the bar scene.
Once bitten, twice shy.
Still looking for someone special.

Permalink Reply by Allegra on February 10, 2010 at 12:18pm

There are a lot of reasons that I'm single, that I really hate to admit to.
One of them is that all the guys that like me, well, I just can't seem to like them back. And as for the guys I do like, they don't even spare a passing glance. Plus, I'm fresh outta high school, and haven't started college yet. Haven't met new people, recently, so that's definitely a reason.

Maybe I'm too picky. But I really think I have a vague concept of 'my type'... really, it shouldn't be that hard to find.

Maybe I just have this tendency to not let anyone in... I find it hard to trust people, especially when it's something to do with the whole dating thing. I have a ridiculous fear of being abandoned, or of getting close to a person, and then having them walk away.

Being shy probably doesn't help either.

Permalink Reply by Brian Pansky on August 28, 2011 at 3:43am

everything except the first paragraph sounds familiar, as in it applies to myself. 

"vague concept of 'my type'... really, it shouldn't be that hard to find."  I think it can be if you "have this tendency to not let anyone in",  at least that's what I'm trying to work out for myself.  And when it comes to "fear of being abandoned, or of getting close to a person, and then having them walk away", I see for myself that having my only friend, my best friend, walk away from my life has been something I probably subconsciously fear a lot.  Especially since I now have a group of friends, which I have never had before, and I'm not sure how to get close to the people of the group individually. 

Permalink Reply by Jason Wagner on February 10, 2010 at 9:24pm

I'm currently having an uncontested divorce. My soon to be ex and I are on good terms, she just wasn't ready to be a step mother to my beautiful 9 year old daughter. So I'm back in the dating scene and have been out on a few dates already.

My wife was a Catholic and I don't think I'll ever date a religious woman again. One time she started talking to me about Noah's Ark as if it actually happened. I just can't take theists seriously. Ultimately I hope to find a nice atheist girl who understands that this life is the only one we've got so we should make it count.

Until then, I'm looking for a little intellectual stimulation -- I joined TA in the hopes of a meeting of the minds, finding people I can chat, laugh, debate, and network with. I greatly enjoy philosophy, satire, comedy, and science... to quote Ernie Cline, "The sexiest thing in the world is a woman who is smarter than you are." so if you are or know someone who is... hit me up! ;)

Permalink Reply by Sydni Moser on February 10, 2010 at 9:44pm

Hi Jason, well it seems as though you're not wasting any time and are back in circuit - Good for you.

Wish I knew a single gal in Arizona, since I've made a number of love matches between friends that still seem to be going strong....

I've mainly dated non-religious guys which had worked out fine. Religion never came up between us in our daily affairs, although I doubt any but one of them would have called themselves an atheist. My husband was right on the fence about god, he just wasn't able to hop on over to fully disbelieve. Again, religion was not an issue between us, though we had plenty of other 'issues' that were difficult to navigate through the years.... Thanks for posting.

Permalink Reply by Daniel Thorpe on February 10, 2010 at 11:56pm

For me I believe I am single mostly because I am rather shy and introverted. Unless around people I am comfortable with. I'm not a fan of the bar scene. Nor do I generally get along with those that are fond of bars and such. My philosophy on dating and meeting people, is I am not going to go out of my way to meet women. In most instances of doing so I am doing things that are not what I would normally do so I am less likely to meet people that I would get along with. It would probably help if I got out more, but we're back to the introverted bit.

I also know that my standards are a bit high. I consider myself an intelligent person, so girls that aren't interested in science, philosophy or something thought provoking tend to not interest me. I may not know where to look, but its been somewhat difficult to find like minded people much less atheist women.

Permalink Reply by Sydni Moser on February 11, 2010 at 8:39am

So Daniel, how do you meet women if you don't get out much? That's my issue, but it's mainly that I've just gotten lazy and more comfortable than I'd like being single, so I don't look for ways to meet men. All of this has to change for me if I ever do want to have a man in my life again...

You have a great deal of interests, so do you join up and are active in any social groups where you would find like-minded friends and female companionship? Friends can also be useful if they can help introduce someone to you. Since you are shy, do you like it and even prefer, if a woman makes the first move? It still seems to me that young women are loath to step up and take the initiative, but I think most men would be very relieved if they did so. What's your take?

Permalink Reply by Daniel Thorpe on February 14, 2010 at 2:10am

tl;dr I would like women to express interest, and I get out just not often socially activities with new people.

As for women making the first move I am not sure as to the position of most females, but it seems that it is still more socially acceptable for the male to make the first move. I know we're in the 21st century so things are changing, but still, such is my experience. I personally would very much like to see women express interest, or start a conversation with me. As I tend to be completely oblivious to levels of interest or body language indicative there of. I have been told I tend to look angry, put off, or some other negative emotion that is unfriendly. Thus people don't think I wish to speak to them or that I am just a generally unsavory character. I try not to appear this way but its somewhat hard to change your natural expressions. When at a party or social gathering I start conversations with people and do what i can to be congenial and whatnot, but to no avail. I have made some new friends recently but nothing more.

As for getting out, its mostly that I don't really get to situations that are good for meeting people. Or at very least not like minded people that are single. I hang out with friends, go to places of interest around town and such. No one I know is too fond of the bar scene so we just mill about town seeing whats seems interesting. Playing it by ear. A good night for me is LAN party with a bunch of friends or a couple hours wandering downtown.

I have been fairly honest and open in my reply, or at least offered my best assessment of the situation.

Permalink Reply by Dylan Alexander Fick on June 26, 2011 at 9:18pm

Amen to that last part dude. The only saving grace if a girl can't quite keep up with me intellectually is creativity. Creative chicks with the arts and stuff are just fascinating xD

Permalink Reply by Dave G on February 11, 2010 at 9:53am

Wouldn't you know it, I left my 'Free Vegas tickets' coupon in my other pants. :)

Permalink Reply by Jason Wagner on February 11, 2010 at 4:15pm

:)

Permalink Reply by Keith A. Szilagyi on February 11, 2010 at 7:28pm

I suppose I fit the "been there, done that" category, I've been divorced for almost two years and haven't really been in a hurry to get back in the game. I loved being a part of a couple but don't think I could ever go through it again. You never know the rules of the game always change. :)

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