Sorry I haven't been on in a while guys. I haven't had much time at all lately. Anyway, I need some advice.
Last month I went to a funeral and it basically had nothing to do with the person that died and everything to do with "saving" souls. It really pissed me off. The preacher even did an invitation for people to be saved at the alter.
So a couple of days ago a friend of mine that I have known all of my life passed away. His family is pretty religious, although he was not. His parents have told me about the arrangements and they said that, before the burial, they want to have his services at the church that they attend. I do love and respect this family. I know them all and I would feel bad if I didn't go. However, I do not want to sit through another service about cheesus and "getting right" with the invisible dude.
His 3 sisters know that I am atheist. His parents may or may not. I didn't bring it up to them when I was at their house yesterday, but I noticed that they seemed a little pushy about getting me to attend church with them. They've never done that to me before. Would it be disrespectful if I just sat outside the church and when they were finished I could just follow them to the cemetary?
How would you deal with this?
I love the way you word things :) I really wanna go to the burial. They are have a military ceremony for him and I don't want to miss it. I care for him much more than I care to be stubborn. It will still drive me nuts if there is any preaching going on. A few religious undertones I can overlook, but a straight up church service is just not something I can shrug off.
If your friend was not religious I would question the justification for the service and maybe ask, "who's funeral is this anyway?" I expect folks to ridicule me just as much if not more when I die and make it something humorous, play some Pearl Jam and SOAD drink heavily maybe punch a relative in the eye (Irish) and make it an enjoyable day, no preaching. Would be great if John Cleese could make it.
Sorry for your loss.
He was a christian when we were growing up but he married a buddhist. She opened his eyes to a lot of things. Though they were no longer together, he still had an open mind. He told me not too long ago that he doesn't know what he believes anymore. So, I would love to ask them that question, but at this time I can't. They may not even know his thoughts on religion. I can't imagine what they are going through losing their son, so if it makes them feel better to have it at a church, by all means - have it there. But a sermon isn't called for. There is no reason that someone should be begging for alter repentance when they are supposed to be honoring someone's life and helping friends and family cope. I'm torn :(