You know that religion consider cheating a sin.. you know also that the concept of cheating is different from religion to another and from one society to another.
I always wonder about these kinds of ethics issues and I would like to ask some few questions,
# How can atheists and agnostics practice faithfulness in their relationship?
# What is your concept of cheating in the relationship?
# What is your understanding about faithfulness?
# When you can call somebody a cheater?
//and morals that are not informed by a fear of punishment by a deity are not necessarily bad. indeed, it seems to be less moral to do what you think is right simply because you expect reward or fear punishment (either here or in some afterlife).//
This is a very good point!
"Character is what you have when the lights go out."
As everyone has said here, faithfulness is based on the agreement you have with your partner. Humans, by nature, are not a monogamous species, though some can be and are monogamous throughout their relationships. If I'm happy with someone, I will not stray outside the relationship. If I'm not happy, I will leave, but depending on circumstances, I may start seeing someone else if the relationship, for all intents and purposes, is over.
From my own personal experiences, I find men, in general, marry a woman they feel is good and will be a good mother, but often, even before they're married, he's not happy with the sexual part of the relationship. I can't tell you how many men came after me for something outside the marriage for a more "fun" sexual encounter because his wife wouldn't do "this" or "that." This really pisses me off because they went into the marriage KNOWING this. In some cases, though, the wife is less interested in sex altogether, and so the husband looks elsewhere to fill that void. I can't fault him for that. For me, a boring sex life is a deal breaker, as it's very important to me. That's why I wouldn't stay in a relationship where the sex is unsatisfying. It's not fair to him or to me.
Cheating is being intimate outside the relationship without the okay of your partner, plain and simple. I like to be monogamous when I'm in a relationship and expect that from my boyfriend/husband, but if it's not going well...I can move on. The big thing about cheating outside the marriage/relationship to me is the chance of the cheater bringing "something" home, an STD or worse. While there's always that risk when dating, no matter how careful you are, if someone cheats a lot with more than one person, then that's just behavior that is too risky and thoughtless when considering the person they're in a relationship with. Men and women do this and think nothing of the risks.
If you and your partner like non-traditional things, however, like swinging or an open marriage/relationship, that's fine as long as both are in agreement and both know the risks.
what bugs me is that WOMAN is always the weakest side of the relationships!
Woahwoahwoahwoah - what in the hell makes you say that?!?
I'm saying this because of my background! I'm from the Middle East, I've heard so many bad stories about women being the weakest side of the relationship...
Then you have been led astray by your culture. Here in the Western world the men are just as strong/weak as them women when it comes to a relationship - and in fact I would say that the women, a great deal of the time, are the stronger of the two in the relationship.
Down here in the Deep South we have a saying, "Behind every successful man is a strong woman - with a frying pan just in case." ;)
so, western women are lucky I guess..
btw, I love this saying 'behind every successful man is a strong woman'
Damn, Hope, yes they are. I look forward to a time when you can say the same thing. Female strength is valuable! We in the West rejoice in it! Even most of the men! Oh gosh, it's so much fun to have women doing their own thing. One day sister. Men can be... you know, pigs, and we won't ever admit it, because do you know what we are? Spoilt little boys who don't know how to share. Until we are forced to, and then we complain every step of the way: frankly it's embarassing that maleness so often equals immature jerkitude. Don't listen to all (our) posturing and posing - it's a ton of crap.
the chance of the cheater bringing "something" home, an STD or worse.
I shudder to think of what could be worse than catching an STD off of a (thought to be) monogamous partner. Care to explain?
"Others sometimes just happen to run into a situation where they get to fuck something after a few drinks and low inhibitions."
Uh, I think this is called hooking up or sport phucking. Especially if you generically refer to the spur of the moment partner as "something." If that is where their head is at I would think a serious relationship based on trust and respect probably ain't gonna happen.
Well yeah, I wouldn't say the spur of the moment 'partner' is anything more than 'something' except just a fun ride for a night. I know I know, they have feelings too, but many people do it and women do it as well - Only to never message the guy back leaving them feeling that they were inadequate in a way, when in reality the woman maybe actually is in a relationship and is just experimenting.
My main point is that this goes both ways and that 'cheating' is a natural process of many relationships. That 'cheating' shouldn't have such a negative connotation to it.
Just dump the person and move on to someone else. No need to label as anything derogatory, they're just not your cup of tea is all ...