I had a friend from high school "friend me" on Facebook years ago. He's a preacher now and even though I'm an atheist I kept him as a friend as I had no problems with him until he started outright attacking atheist. This shouldn't come as a surprise but his most recent post became an attack on me as I know I am his only atheist friend. I unfriended him after this post. Even though I knew he was wrong and I could refute his claims, I just got tired of his hate. I attached his post below, what do you think I should have done:
I unchecked and thus suppressed the News Feed from everyone who bores me on Facebook. I see no reason to delete them, because I can pretty much mute whatever they say. If someone posts on my wall, however, and I don't like the post, I just delete it. Consequently my page is not very active, but all the stuff I find interesting (which isn't a lot in facebook) remains visible.
It seems to me that the technique of saying nothing, or not replying, is far more relaxing than engaging in histrionics on the internet. Un-friending seems really pointless to me.
I unchecked and thus suppressed the News Feed from everyone who bores me on Facebook.
Same here. Seems the best and easiest solution. You don't have to see the idiotic posts, but you always have the option to pop by for a good laugh when you are in the mood.
I have the "Fundies Say the Darndest Things" FB page for that:(https://www.facebook.com/darndestthings)
I wish I had your strength. I am very nosey and ready almost every post people write. And it's hard not to read something from someone that hates me for the way I think and yet reached out to me as a friend. I don't want to be someone's sparing partner. Debate is great and all but it seems very self serving for him as he doesn't care about my opinion at all.
I had these Jehovah's witnesses visit my house for a year every weekend...I didn't send them away. I just voiced my opinion and they listened and I listened to them. It was nice to at least have a dialogue that was in an attacking tone. They finally gave up on me as I was not going to change just because they were persistent. Nor was I going to send them away because their viewpoint was different from mine.
I'm just wondering if I was being a "bad atheist" and not taking the opportunity to spread the "good word" of being "good without god"?
No such thing as a "bad atheist". There is no rulebook. You just do what you think is best. If you can't stand that person, then unfriend them. If they are not your friend, and they clearly hate you for your atheism, then don't waste your time with them and don't feel bad for getting rid of them from your life.
I guess what I'm more concerned about is the bigger picture. The widening gulf of thought between Reason and Faith. It is the cause of many issues today and I feel like cutting off all ties from religious people because they hate me for not believing in what they believe in just causes the gulf to widen even more.
I basically have 3 choices when it comes to dealing with this problem: (1) ignore them (2) confront them (3) join them. There is no way I will join them so I either confront them or ignore them and I feel ignoring them will cause more problems in the world as a whole.
I know you can't reason with crazy but I feel like being a "missionary" for Reason is actually a good cause. But I don't want all the drama and stigma. It's tough to deal with as I live in Oklahoma, the reddest state, and I'm attacked on a daily basis from friends and family...it may be small quips here and there...either in person or the internet...but it hurts none the less to be treated this way.
THEY are not oppressed. I don't attack THEM. THEY have a church on literally every corner...but I'm treated like a social pariah and I don't wear my heart on my sleeve. I keep to myself unless I see a social injustice occurring that was caused by religious oppression.
So my question is, should atheist be vocal or not? If not, then are we not the cause of all the problems as we are not sharing our feelings on issues which could cause someone to wake up and see our way may be a better alternative?
I think yes - be vocal - but quietly and calmly.
I would confront the friend and let him know that you saw it and that it hurt you and could he please explain himself.
I imagine its made you feel betrayed - Tell him that.
It shocked you - Tell him that.
Is that what his Jesus teaches? What sort of Christian is he?
You thought that you could trust him.
Then say nothing.
Oddly enough, the more I talk about with like minded people, the less it bothers me. I don't hold his opinion of me in high esteem so I think "un-friending" him was the best thing to do. I'm so glad I joined this site. It really does make me feel better to know there are more people out there like me.
I think the only time it is worth it to be vocal is with people that are being reasonable and kind. Every other person that has an agenda or is so deeply deluded that they can't be reasonable or fair is not worth your time or efforts. Focus on the positive people in your life.
I think you made the right choice in un-friending the person that was just poisoning your happiness. Life is too short for that shit. I even went so far as to delete everything on FB and "deactivate" my account there.
I use G+ exclusively now and love how much more control and freedom I have there. FB forces fake "friendships." G+ lets me be the boss, they just respect me more and the people seem smarter there generally in my opinion. The science community is cool and fun there also.
I have reached a new level of peace of mind now that I don't have to read lame junk that I never wanted to read in the first place on FB. G+ makes it much easier to sort out the lame people and put them in the little boxes that they deserve to be in.
Anyway, to sum up, choose your battles wisely. It is only worth it to stay friends if the person is honest and kind in the first place. Take it easy. :)
Thank you for replying. I have a G+ account but I never use it. I might give it another chance. Until then I need to do a better job with my privacy setting on FB and do a spring cleaning of my Friend's List.
I dont think a lot of Christians will admit that they adhere to this passage but Ive been told that they do take it seriously, It might be a good place to start a conversation with him if you decide to.
2 Corinthians 6:4 KJV
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
The only problem is the 2 Corinthians 6:4 KJV passage says: But in all things approving ourselves as the ministers of God, in much patience, in afflictions, in necessities, in distresses,
I do believe you mean 2 Corithians 6:14 KJV: Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
"I dont think a lot of Christians will admit that they adhere to this passage but Ive been told that they do take it seriously,"
The passage is often used by Christians and Pastors to discourage inter-faith marriage or marriage to an atheist/agnostic/anti-theist, but could also apply in the context of friendship as well. However, regarding friendship, the only way this passage is adhered to most often by Christians is if they live in an area where there is less cultural diversity and the culture itself is not open-minded.